Consider this a sequel or companion piece to my recent post “I Want to Save the Reality Stars.”
Your addiction has affected me in the following ways:
I have stood by you for the last 5-7 years. Through your ups and downs I have defended you, and I feel like I have been made a fool. I have trusted you, and you have betrayed me.
You have stolen from me, and I’m sure you used that cash to go party. Did you know that I saw I Know Who Killed Me on opening day at 11am? I tried to convince myself that it wasn’t you who robbed me of my $7, and I deluded myself into thinking that the movie would one day catch on and become a cult hit… But I know… deep down… that the symbolism was much too heavy-handed and you did not, in fact, know who killed you.
I gave you another chance with Georgia Rule, and again you let me down. I tried to push you away and didn’t see Labor Pains, but I never stopped caring.
When you went to rehab and jail and rehab and jail, every time I was so hopeful that this time you would let out the inner Robert Downey Jr. that I knew was there, and make your own Iron Man. Everything would be okay again.
But then I saw this picture of you.
Lindsay, what am I supposed to think with those teeth? That is meth mouth and don’t try to convince me otherwise! And now you’re going to be posing full frontal in Playboy? If you don’t care about what I think, fine. But what about Tina?
Tina Fey gave you your career. She gave you the only legitimately good movie you’ve ever made since Parent Trap. I’m sure she’s already washed her hands of you, but how can you look at yourself and your janky teeth in the mirror every day knowing how you disapointed her?
This is so hard for me to say, Lindsay, but I just can’t do it anymore. For my own sake, I have to stop ennabling you. Just know that if you truly make a change and get help, I will be there waiting for you with open arms, and I pray that you can help yourself before you die or all your teeth fall out.
Know that it is never too late to make a change. And you look much better as a red head.