Like I said in Clothes I Look Stupid In: Part 1, there are some trendy styles that I see on 6 foot tall models with normal sized heads that I wish I could wear, but know that said trend wouldn’t translate on the lollipop of a human that I am.
For a while now, furs of any kind have been on my No Fly List of trends, as in “this fur vest ain’t gonna fly *diva snap.*” Lately, however, the promise of looking like a Real Housewife has outweighed my fear of looking stupid.
Like this hat:
See that dimple? That's for you.
Now look at this:
Sonja of RHNY looking like Funny Girl up in here
Lisa Vanderpump of RHBH looking like a boss
Have you ever seen anything like it? Magnificent.
My hat is an Albertus Swanepoel for Target…. I’ve never heard of him either, but I guess he’s a hat maker, and I feel extra Housewives-y knowing I have a hat from a real hat maker, not from a 2 year old Cambodian orphan… not to say that my new pal Albie actually made this hat… wait, this was made in China…so more than likely this was made by the nimble fingers of a toddler, but at least it was designed by a fancy man and not from a recent design school grad hipster.
Final thought: Do I look like a Russian going into one of those frozen vodka bars in Vegas in that hat?
**JK, I don’t look stupid in that hat, I look ADORABLE
I bought some make-up at Target the other day, which is gross because there’s no testers. You know that someone probably had their fingers all in the product you’re about to buy… which I know because I like to open everything and try it, so some poor soul is wiping my hand germs all over their face every morning while they put on their foundation.
The no tester situation is my only gripe with Target- have you seen those prices!? I picked up new make-up with some gift cards, and tried out one of their cheap make up lines for the products I didn’t really need but wanted: under eye highlighter to look like a Kardashian (I don’t like that Kim, but gosh darn it if her eyes don’t look mesmerizing!) and cream eyeliner.
For the cheap lines my choices were N.Y.C., Rimmel, and e.l.f.
N.Y.C. didn’t have a chance because I used that stuff at sleepovers when I was 12, so I can’t move backwards. Always evolving, people. I would have gone with Rimmel since there was a big picture of Zooey Deschanel hocking the stuff (I’m exactly what cosmetics marketing departments are catering to, and I can accept that) but they didn’t really have anything I wanted.
Now, these e.l.f. people have no celebrity endorsements, but they did have the under eye highlighter, and the cream eyeliner. I think the highlighter is $1 and the eyeliner was $3. Nice even prices, I appreciate that.
The eyeliner was useless. It doesn’t go on as a solid color- you can see your skin through it no matter how much you apply. The concealer portion of the highlighter was also really thin, but the highlighter was fine, so you could use it with your own concealer.
The whole ordeal just made me miss Sephora with their testers and return policies and friendly sales ladies who follow you around the store to make sure you’re not stealing.
So, like I said in yesterday’s post I’ve started a 30-day challenge at my Bikram yoga studio (I finished day 2 today). If you don’t know anything about Bikram, basically it’s an hour and a half of wanting to die in a 105 degree room, which means I plan on being dehydrated and frail for the entire month of June.
I needed a new top to wear because I’ve just been wearing the same one every class then washing it at night, and I need to keep up with all the rich housewives who come in with their lululemon coordinating outfits. I saw the lululemon top above and thought it would be the perfect yoga top that not only hides the remnants of my recent junk food bender that lasted a solid two weeks (I just graduated college, I’m allowed to eat my feelings for little while!) like a loose t-shirt, but is still a tank top, which is crucial in hot yoga.
Instead of being an insane person and buying the lululemon version (I’m not Jennifer Aniston, y’all! I ain’t made of money!), I found a lovely alternative at Target.
Okay, anyway, I’m gonna go drink a gallon of water and try to make it up the stairs to bed.
One of my favorite things are the designer GO International lines for Target. One problem is a lot of the good stuff goes really fast, but next week Target is relaunching some popular pieces from the past five years from designers like Zac Posen and Rodarte. I checked out the dresses they’ll be rereleasing- eh. None of them were dresses I missed out on. I bought my Katy Perry-esque dress by Rodarte when it first came out, so the rest is irrelevant to me.
Teen Vogue agrees that my Rodarte leopard print dress is cute.
Side note, my mom actually picked this dress out for me. She said, “DARA! DARA! Look at this dress- it’s a Katy Perry dress! Try the Katy Perry dress on!” On the rack it looked like all sorts of Snookie, but when it’s on it’s all fashion-y class. Thank goodness for my mom’s random affinity for Katy Perry because this is now one of my favorite pieces.