3 Things You Did in College That Don’t Matter Anymore

1. Study abroad. I know it was a profound experience for you, but nobody wants to hear your study abroad stories (we also don’t want to hear about the weird dream you had. It’s like the same thing). I’m also sorry to tell you that spending 3 months in France doesn’t give you the right to pronounce croissant like cwah-sont. In one semester you can hardly conceive a child and then wait the 13 week miscarriage grace period before telling people you’re pregnant, let alone convincingly pick up a French accent that you only use when pronouncing French food. While we’re at it, you should know that taking up temporary residence somewhere for 3 months doesn’t mean you can start telling people you “lived” in Europe. You barely got used to people driving on the other side of the road before you had to go back. I never studied abroad, but I did spend a semester in Chicago, and in those 3 months, I did and saw enough things to give dining and entertainment suggestions to friends visiting Chicago to fill up a quick weekend visit. If you’re going for a week, I can get you through Monday to Thursday morning, but beyond that I’ve got nothing except that the Chipotle on Rush and Division has excellent service.

2. Interned. I had two internships in college, and I was still worried that it wasn’t enough. I know people who had amazing internships and the the indentation in their mattress from having too much time on their hands to sleep due to unemployment (and good, All-American depression) is just as big as mine.

3. Had a major. Seriously, if your morals about lying are loose, you can pretty much just do an extended Google session to pick up some lingo and start telling employers you majored in communications instead of music composition. Unless you’re trying to be a doctor or a Chinese interpretor I don’t think it really matters.

Have a great Thanksgiving break college students, BYEEE!