A Day in the Life

Date: 3.1.12 (a snowy Thursday)

7:30 am: My alarm goes off. I intend to hit the snooze until 8 am, but from downstairs I hear a raspy voice coming from the television. Could it be?

7:33 am: I run downstairs to catch the tail end of Matt Lauer showing a clip of him interviewing Lindsay Lohan. They will be airing the rest of it after the break. There’s no going back to sleep now.

Good one, 'Today Show' caption.

10 am: Due to the snow my father is taking my younger brother to work, and I come along because I’m promised free lunch and irreplaceable father-daughter time at the mall.

11 am: My dad and I go to the mall Starbucks to do some work. I order him a hot caramel macchiato with skim milk, and get myself an iced caramel macchiato.

11:05 am: I forgot to specify that I wanted skim milk and sugar free syrup! Now I refuse to drink it.

1 pm: Dad and I go to Red Robin, and I get a burger with onion rings all over it. And two skinny vodka lemonade iced teas (I feel it’s important to add that there was hardly any alcohol in those drinks).

3:30 pm: Pick up mom from work. She hasn’t eaten lunch yet so we go to Portland Pie. I have pizza and more fries and an Applehead beer. (To recap, that’s burger, fries, spiked lemonade, fries, pizza, beer).

5:00 pm: We go grocery shopping. I take pictures of things and buy more booze.

Night: I drink more beer, but feel nothing, partially because I am cold and empty inside and partially because I ate too much.

Starbucks Skinny Peppermint Mocha

After reading the title of this post, I bet you’re thinking “how is this lady going to weasle an entire post out of the subject ‘skinny peppermint mochas?'”

Well, reader, you’ve obviously never read any of my college essays. I once wrote a ten page paper for a literature class in which Sex and the City was one of my scholarly sources. I can finagle just about anything into an essay. Look, I’ve already wasted 73 words. Child’s play. 75.

Anyway, I’m just pumped about this new Skinny Peppermint Mocha business. I think for years one of the hardest things for me to grapple with is the fact that all of the Starbucks seasonal beverages are generally made with a thick, syrupy base (pumpkin spice, mocha, caramel brulee), and I like to enjoy my holiday cheer in 150 calories or less. I think most people (except for neurotic, skinny, city dwellers) don’t really have a grasp on how bad for you some of those Starbucks drinks are (do not get me started on the Chai… just because it sounds like tea doesn’t make it ok).

I, however, used to work at Starbucks, so I know a thing or two about how many calories are in every single thing in that place. I’m an encyclopedia of the nutritional values of stale, day old baked goods. My insight actually spans beyond just fat content, too. I have some thoughts on Starbucks etiquette as well.

How to be a Great Person at Starbucks (Though it Will Probably Go Unnoticed):

  • Be cool about sending back your drinks. I mean, it’s part of their job description to re-do any drinks if you ask, (like, even if you screw up and say you wanted iced when you really wanted hot) but maybe think about how busy it is and what was made incorrectly. Say you didn’t want whipped cream and they put it on. If you send that back you are a major doucher and here’s why: the policy is they are supposed to remake the ENTIRE drink, so depending on the manager looking over their shoulder, they can’t just scoop it off the top. But guess what? You can easily do that (or chalk it up as destiny and enjoy your whipped cream. You didn’t ask for it so it doesn’t count calorically). HOWEVER, if they give you 2% instead of skim milk, you are permitted to throw the drink across the room and demand a free apple purse.
  • This next one is tough because it would require you to be both extremely considerate and aware of your surroundings, so just do what you can: Watch where you sit!!! If you take a table in front of an outlet and you don’t have a computer, you should then be aware if someone with a computer walks in and now has no outlet to sit in front of. How else will that person nurse a $2 tazo tea for 3 hours while he works on his screenplay? Just get up and find a new seat (unless there are no other seats and then you get a pass).
  • Be clean. You don’t have to be all Danny Tanner about it, but just know if you leave trash at your table all the baristas are going be talking about you after you leave, hard core. Also, when you go to the bathroom do your best to aim, and don’t get toilet paper on the floor. There is no reason for there to be toilet paper on the floor, and yet there always is.
  • Tip. I don’t think you understand how much it sucks to make coffee for people for $8 an hour, and it’s harder work than you think. If they’re not making your drink, they’re wiping down the condiment bar for the third time this hour. Ya, Starbucks is a pretty good company to work for, but they want blood in exchange for dental insurance.

Or better yet, stop going to Starbucks and start supporting locally owned coffee shops, you monster drone!

Thinking Cup: Boston

I have to commute into Boston every week, and since I can’t go home between classes/rehearsals, whatever, I have no where to go during down time. I end up looking like a homeless person in February, aimlessly wandering about the mall or camping out in the corner of a coffee shop all day.

I’m getting pretty sick of Starbucks, so I tried out a new place called Thinking Cup in downtown Boston that opened up a few months ago. I’m guessing the employees there think I was studying for some sort of really important test because I was there twice in one day for an extended period of time.

They would be wrong about the test, though. I mean, I’m an acting major….so….

I was just there all day because it’s a great place to hang out! For one, their iced coffee is amazing. I got one before class, and then after a discussion with a classmate, I was told to try the hazelnut latte.

I went back after class and got the hazelnut latte and a chicken, brie, and apple on cranberry bread sandwich. Okay, first of all, they do those little latte drawings, which now that I’ve experienced beverage art, I feel that drinking a latte without it borders on barbaric. Not only was it pretty, it was unreal deee-ricious, and I’m pretty sure it had little pieces of hazelnut in it. Sandwich? Double dericious. They also had an assortment of mini cupcakes. I would have partook, but I felt like a cupcake on top of a sandwich full of brie and cranberry mayo would just start a shame spiral.

The atmosphere was really nice when I came in the morning, not overwhelmingly busy, and the little booths looked like a nice place to do your homework. When I came back at 2pm, though, it was a zoo. If the zoo had a hipsters and young professionals exhibit. At that point, it’s kind of uncool to do your homework there hours after you’ve finished your $2 coffee because you’re taking the seats away from people who actually just want to eat and go. Sure, today I was that person hogging yo’ seats, but at least I felt sort of bad about it. Plus, I had no where else to goooo (because I’m really sick of caramel macchiatos so Starbucks wasn’t an option, y’all)!

Anyway, I’m a big fan of Thinking Cup and highly recommend it, if not just for the teeny tiny little spoon they put on the saucer with your hazelnut latte.

Starbucks Petites

I’m a firm believer that free food and drinks do not contains calories, which is why I am so excited for the next three days. Thursday, Friday, and Saturday from 2-5pm this week will be giving away a free petite pastry if you buy a coffee in honor of their 40th anniversary. Tiramisu, rocky road, and birthday cake cake pops, mini cupcakes, lemon bars, salted caramel sweet square, and red velvet whoopie pies are among the selections.