Clothes I Look Stupid In: Part III

How did this happen? How did I end up with two sets of gaudy loafers in a span of one week? I need answers!

I started out frugally by buying the cheap glitter pair on the left from for $16 plus shipping. A steal price-wise, but I’m pretty sure they were made out of poster board. I found the leopard pair at Marshall’s for $43 and my God, it was like these were made for someone to actually wear comfortably. What was I to do? I couldn’t choose between them . Either I would have to return the first pair, which would take effort, or not buy the second pair which was obviously superior in quality and style. It was like Sophie’s Choice. It was exactly like choosing which one of your two children would die at the hands of  a Nazi.

Of course, I couldn’t give one up.

These shoes fall into the category of items that your girlfriends find attractive because they read the same JCrew catalogues you do, but any straight male human thinks they’re weird and ugly. Which is so strange because why wouldn’t they find shoes sexy that are predominately intended for elderly men?

I just want to know how much mileage I’m going to get out of these until a magazine reminds me that they are actually ugly and we all have to go back to wearing ballet flats again. I already threw out my ballet flats!

Steve Madden Platforms

 Look at my new platforms I got on sale online at Steve Madden! My third grade self would never believe that one day I would own Spice Girl platforms such as these. I feel like my mom shouldn’t have let me buy them or something- I feel so powerful! I can wear any kind of shoes I want and no one can stop me!

Platform Sandals


This gallery contains 5 photos.

Some platform sandals I would buy if I had literally any money. Some of these are, like, $30… times are tough, my friends. 1. Steve Madden, $49.99 2. Michael Antonio, $30 3. ALDO, $135 4. Jeffrey Campbell, $98 5. MICHAEL … Continue reading

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Obsessed With: Sofft Sandals

I can’t be sure that I’m not blogging about some sort of old lady Stride Right type of shoe, but I have old lady feet, so if I am I don’t care.

Actually, I don’t so much have old lady feet (they just pronate in), as I just have to wear old lady shoes all the time. If I wear heels when I go out (and I mean high high heels, not the one pair of sensible heels I wear with every outfit for every occasion) and I don’t get to sit after about 2o minutes, I can promise you I will make everyone’s life hell until someone offers me a piggy-back ride.

Even sandals make my feet hurt because they have no support, so I have to wear sneakers and orthotics, which is the main reason why I’m always in gym clothes (the other reason is that yoga pants are very comfortable and can accommodate my weight fluctuation in a way that jeans can’t keep up with).

However, I found some sandals that are cute and also have arch support. The brand is Sofft, and I guess they’re hand made and real leather. Again, I don’t know if this is some sort of specialty, elderly shoe brand, which is embarrassing for me if it is. They are just legitimately the most comfortable sandals I’ve ever worn. I don’t know if gladiator sandals are still in style, but they aren’t Nikes, so I think it’s an improvement.