Funny Friday: Garfunkel and Oates

I’m a big fan of these two ladies, Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome. Together they are Garfunkel and Oates and sing funny songs. I wish I could make youtube videos like theirs but I still can’t play the ukulele and sing at the same time.

This song is one of my favorites, and the best part about it is if you look at the comments for it it’s a bunch of pregnant ladies saying “I’m pregnant, and I’m not smug, but this is sooooo funny!!” Okay, pregnant ladies, obviously you don’t know you’re acting smug. No one gets pregnant and says “I’m going to be so smug about carrying this fetus inside my uterus.” It just happens.

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Blueberry Pancake Infused Vodka

I decided to infuse some vodka today for Thirsty Thursday because it was literally the easiest thing I could possibly blog about, and I’m not in the mood to really over extend myself today. Though I’m feeling lazy , nothing could ever curtail my natural creativity, so I decided to infuse some vanilla vodka with fresh farm blueberries to make blueberry pancake vodka. Or maybe blueberry muffin vodka… I’ll have to taste it in a week and see which.

Cluster Frames

Since I moved back home after college, I decided I wanted to redo my room since my old room was so pink it was hard to sleep in (and embarrassing to bring my imaginary boyfriends home to). I’ve also been watching too much of Nate Berkus’ show and reading too many design blogs in my ample time off that I wanted to use my inspiration towards my room.

At first I had big dreams about buying things at flee markets and taking on big projects like re-upholstering a giant chair, but then I realized if I spent a lot of money and time on my room I’ll never want to leave it and end up living there forever raising two kids (there’s no room for cribs in there, so they can sleep in my open dresser drawers until they grow out of it).

I painted my room a nice grey, which I liked even more than I thought I would, and then started stealing furniture and decoration from around the house. The first project I started was this frames cluster over my desk and facing my bed. I only spent $6 (to decorate the bulletin board and to buy the butterflies) and the rest are just things I stole from my mom or had in my old room.

After getting together everything I wanted, I played tetris on my bed with them for 20 minutes until I figured out a way to make them all fit.

Then I measured the width and height of them all together on my bed and put up painter’s tape in those measurements. My mother maintains that putting up painter’s tape made my job harder than it had to be, but I thought it helped. I’m telling myself it helped because it was an extra 45 minutes of work.

I started putting up the pictures from the outside of the box working in.

This is the almost finished product. There’s a big-ish space under the butterflies and picture that I need to fill with something that I hadn’t accounted for, but other than that I’m really pleased with how it turned out. My favorite it the shadow box I stole from over the living room tv- it’s an antique printer’s drawer with little miniatures in it.

Ya, I’m pretty smug about this DIY project.

PS this is my 100th post! …and I’m not an internet sensation yet… I QUIT.

Today I’m Grateful For….

Because I am a disciple of the Church of Oprah, I think it’s important to remember what you’re grateful for besides just the obvious (being alive, your health, not being homeless…stuff you’re going to take for granted no matter what). So, in an effort to be grateful for the simple things in life, here’s a list of things I’m grateful for today.

LEAN POCKETS! I’ve never had a pocket- whether it be lean or hot- ever before, and though I’m grateful that I’ve found it, it’s hard to accept that the ham and cheese whole wheat one just entered my life. I feel like we’ve missed out on a lot of memories together.

Alex McCord is now following me on twitter. Now we can mean tweet Kelly together. Though, I’d be 100% more grateful if Caroline or Dina Manzo were following me. Or any of the Manzos/Lauritas.

Pretty window box flowers. It allows me to see some nature close up without ever having to leave my hermit’s nest of a home.

My extra large coffee mug I got for graduation (since graduating everything my mother gives me has an inspirational quote about pursuing my dreams on it). I like this mug because it’s cozy and because Oprah once told Tina Fey she knew she’d like her because she had big mugs. So this makes me twofold grateful for this mug: 1. I always knew Oprah would like me, and I have the big mugs to prove it (plus they have an inspirational quote on it so she’d like me extra), and 2. I’m obviously exactly like Tina Fey since having big mugs says a lot about you as a person.

I’m so grateful I remembered that I have a teeny tiny top hat in my possession and two teeny tiny dogs that fit into it, making it look like a full-sized top hat.

Vegas Travel Outfit

Every time I’m about to go on a trip, I dream about what kind of outfit I’ll wear on the plane ride in. The kind of outfit that says, I’m stylish! I’m well traveled! I’m a bon vivant- and I know what that word means! I want to wear an outfit that makes people wonder where I’m wheeling my luggage off to. Also, in this dream I look like a cast member on The Hills with skinny Olsen twin arms wearing over-sized watches and bangles until my frail little hands drag on the floor under the weight. I am also wearing a straw fedora and heels while walking through the terminal in this scenario. Okay, I’m Vanessa Hudgens in this scenario.

When it comes to the actual day of travel, I’m usually too tired to wear anything besides yoga pants and I don’t have a straw fedora that comfortably fits my big head. Wearing heels to the airport is an impossible dream- I’ve worn pharmacy brand slippers out to a bar before, so wearing heels when it’s not expected of me isn’t very realistic.

With that said, I’m going to Vegas in a month and a half, and this time I swear I’m going to wear a cute airport outfit!

I love the outfit Kristen Wiig wears in Bridesmaids when they go to Vegas.

This is the inspiration for my plane outfit, but I want some sequins because it’s Vegas, and I want to look as gaudy as possible (to match my Betsey Johnson gold lame suitcase).

 Something sort of like that.

This is perfect, but it’s out of stock (and listed in English currency so I wouldn’t have been able to figure out how much it cost, anyway):

I’m thinking about buying a plain black and white shirt and then buying strings of sequins and sewing them on one row on and then get bored.

WordCamp Boston 2011

This weekend I’ll be attending WordCamp Boston- a blogging conference for WordPress users. I basically feel like a dinkus for going, and even more so for telling anyone I’m going, but you’ll all be laughing when I’m making $300 a month and can pay all my (future apartment) utilities with my blogging money alone. Ha! Ya, this is all just a part of my never ending quest to never have a real job again. To be a paid, full-time blogger is essentially like being a home schooler (and I was home schooled for a year, so I should know). You can do your work when ever you feel like it, you don’t have to get out of your PJs if you don’t want to, you can eat snacks whenever you want, just as long as you get it done it doesn’t matter. This is my American Dream, people.

Anyway, I’ll be going to some lectures about how to be an internet sensation and doing some networking. I am also going to make it RAIN business cards. I’m thinking about taping candy to my cards and luring people into taking them that way. Candy or Xanax. We’ll see which is more popular.

I’m going alone so instead of networking it’s probably just going to be me sitting by myself and people being too intimidated to approach me because I look angry when I’m really just tired from having to get up before 9am…and you KNOW I won’t be approaching people-that’s not my style. Maybe I can get a last minute wing man to come with me and they can pass out my business cards.

I’ll let you all know how it goes and tell you if I find my future husband at the nighttime reception (real reason why I’m going).

Funny Friday

In honor of Drew Barrymore’s new red hair, I’m going to share with you my favorite red head who looks and sounds like Drew Barrymore, but isn’t actually her.

This is my dear, dear friend, Jamie Burns- she is a comedian like myself (and also a 22 year old red head, so she’s direct competition, and I’m going to kill her after I write this) and does the most spot on Drew Barrymore impression. We met at Second City and did this together:

I just hope one day the Smithers Sister will cut a Christmas album.

Thirsty Thurs: Bellini Granita

    I made a bellini granita using this recipe, but with frozen peaches instead of raspberries. I’d say this is essentially just a boozy shaved ice. I made this with Andre pink champagne, and full disclosure, that stuff is not bad. For a while I thought I was above $5 champagne, like, who do I think I am, Countess Luann?

Andre is also great to use for recipes because it’s so cheap. I’ve already used it for strawberries and champagne cupcakes, jello shots, mimosas, and this granita. Maybe I should write an Andre cookbook and sell it in Urban Outfitters. It could be huge among the hipsters.

DIY Bulletin Board

 Look what I made with just some craft supplies and too much time on my hands! I just took an old, plain bulletin board, painted it coral and added the little pre-made, self adhesive ribbon thing.

I’ve been making so many things with my time off- I painted my room, put together a ladder shelf, scrapbooked and now this. If I’m not careful I’m going to be one of those middle aged ladies who makes life-like baby dolls and dresses them in cow girl outfits and sells them at craft fairs.

Business Cards

My new business cards finally came in, and I’m pretty happy with them considering I got them through a company that would give me 6,000 cards for 18 cents. I wanted to get some trendy ones from MOO.com, but their stuff was way too expensive (for someone getting professional business cards with an amateur aka jobless status), so I had to opt for the Microsoft Word clipart that is Vistaprint. I think they’re pretty cute- should I have gotten the Hello Kitty ones? Just kidding, you guys… I only buy Hello Kitty brand kitchen appliances and credit cards.