Life of Pie (LOL)

“Dara, I took a picture of your plate so you can blog about it.” – Mom

She has finally become the stage mother I’ve always wanted.

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Thanksgiving Recap

This is not so much a recap of my Thanksgiving weekend as it is a cry for help as I sit at my desk at work. My intestines are so tired, guys. They just want to sleep. Using rolls soley as a vehicle for transporting butter into my mouth has caught up with me, and it’s taken me an hour and a half to finish my breakfast smoothie.

Just to explain how I got to rock bottom, here’s what the weekend looked like:

If you remember from this post, one thing I want for Christmas this year is the Momofuku bakery cookbook, which includes the recipe for ‘crack pie,’ which is essentially a pie made out of butter and brown sugar, exclusively. My mom made this as our “surprise pie,” and it was delicious, but I’m pretty sure I’m still digesting the last of it.

Who doesn’t love monogramed wine glasses from The Christmas Tree Shop? Probably the same person who also doesn’t love filling it with $7 twist-cap chardonnay. I’ll bet that person doesn’t love a bargain, either. Well, I don’t cater to that kind of McScrooge here on this blog (although Scrooges tend to be miserly, this is not the same as loving a bargain. A bargain lover will spend $100 on 200 bottles of ketchup because of a sale, which is completely different from a McScrooge who, I dunno, would fire you on Christmas Eve or something).

My mom got these wine glasses for my friend, Michelle and me, but as she pointed out, can also be used by mommy and daddy. Anyone can use it so long as the drinker bears some kind of alphabetical tie to the monogram. In addition to wine, another highlight to my night spent with Michelle included about 10 pieces of bacon each at about 1am. That’s all you need to know.

Yesterday I saw The Muppet Movie…. or is it The Muppets? I don’t know. What I do know is that Jason Segel is a national treasure. Though the real point to this story is that I ate basically a whole bag of popcorn before the previews ended, and I’m SURE there’s some kernels still lodged in my digestive system.

Now that you’re up to speed on my caloric intake of an entire long weekend, what did you eat? Did you have any fruit that wasn’t baked in a pie?

Gourmet Donuts

I will always have a great love for cupcakes, but I feel like their novelty is starting to die out a little (that was so hard to type, but alas, I feel it’s true).

I’ve been hearing that pie is becoming the new cupcake. This is ludicrous, my friends. I’m just going to go ahead and say it, who ever is trying to push this trend is flat out irresponsible. Pie has virtually none of the qualities a trendy pastry should have: it’s not travel friendly- to eat pie your only option is to eat it on a plate with a fork, which makes it really difficult to pop into a shop, buy your pastry and eat on the go. Instead you have to sit down and slowly eat your pie giving you plenty of time to think and steep in your own shame. Sorry, mini pies are not the answer! The filling, people! That’s gonna get all over you- you need a plate! Also, the kitschy decorating options for pie is severely limited.

Instead, I give you a better option.

The following is partially a prediction, but also a plea to the American public to help me make this the new cupcake: Gourmet Donuts. Just look at these pictures and tell me you would rather have a slice of pie.

From Sublime Donuts in Atlanta

Sublime: Caramel Apple Fritter, Red Velvet, Dulce de Leche, Wild Berry Fritter

There are few places right now that offer gourmet donuts- these pictures are from Sublime in Atlanta, Georgia. Another is Voodoo Donuts in Portland, Oregon. I have to keep telling myself that an entire vacation to one of these places for the sole purpose of donuts is fiscally irresponsible, which is why I beg everyone with the inkling to open another cupcake shop to reconsider and make some elaborate donuts instead.