An Open Letter from Lindsay Lohan

OMG, omg you guyyyys. Look at this letter Lindsay wrote to me for the NH Union Leader!!

Dear Dara,

As you know, Raven Symone is an avid reader of your blog, and she forwarded the link to the open letter you wrote me. I have to say, I was a little hurt at first. I was defensive, and I felt like you didn’t have to use that picture of me with my eroded Tic-Tac teeth.

I realize now that you were only trying to help me, and I think I owe you an apology and a thank you. You have always stuck by me- look at this picture of us circa 2007:

I want to be that Lindsay again. A Lindsay you can be proud of.

I finally stepped up and completed my community service at the morgue and took some responsibility, which is exactly what you knew I needed. I begged Lorne Michaels to host SNL, and though I know I was a little rusty, I hope you realize that The Real Housewives of Disney was all for you.

I know I should have died my hair red for that night- I could hear your prayers for it like we were twins- I Know Who Killed Me twins, not Parent Trap (and only you understand the difference)I thought I could keep the blonde, but you were right- red hair reminds everyone of an innocent time, right before Wilmer Valderama came along and ruined everything. Red hair is what the people want to see.

Now look at me:

This is me, red headed and ready to work. Red-y to make a Lifetime movie about Elizabeth Taylor. And I have you to thank for your continuous support, and I’m sorry this comeback took so long. I know I almost lost you there, but when I found out even you were doubting me, that’s when I hit rock bottom.

And from there, the only place I could go was up.

God Bless,



[Update: It has come to my attention that some readers think this is real (including my Dad, which if this happened, obviously I would have called and told him through tears of joy and relief). It should also be cleared up that Raven Symone is not actually an avid reader, but if you know her, please pass this along because I do feel this blog is so Raven.]