I found this music video on Jezebel.com this morning and I can’t stop listening to it while moving my shoulders in a suggestive manner as I obsessively refresh Twitter in my matching pajama set.
Lorde (Ella Yelich-O’Connor) is a 16 year-old girl from New Zealand, and, like, good for her or whatever, but I’m 24 and have a cool blog I do for free, so I guess she and Jackie Evancho aren’t the only child prodigies in this world. I have some other really impressive things happening for me, too. Yesterday, I figured out how to game the Chipotle system* and last week I invented putting an egg on my leftover steak burrito bowl for breakfast.
Am I gifted?
Listen, I’m just trying to live my life like any normal kid.
*Order online, check off the “guacamole” option, then in the special instructions ask for it on the side. They will get confused and give you guac both on the bowl AND on the side, but only charge you for one. Remember not to jump off your roof, though, because when you pull this off, you’ll think you can fly.