Met Ball Fashion Coverage (by Someone Who Wears a Sports Bra Whether She’s Going to the Gym That Day or Not)

The Met Ball is one of the most exciting fashion events of the season! is something someone who knows about fashion would say, right?

This year’s event was “punk” themed, and I guess we learned that celebrities aren’t great at interpreting and following directions?

However:

tumblr_mmfpuzFpXp1qbya53o1_500 Nicole Richie

slide_295897_2417199_free Lily Collinsslide_295897_2416521_freeChristina Ricci

tumblr_mmfirm3EAH1qdu3vio1_500

Pacey Witter’s Girlfriend

tumblr_mmet56uxR51r2jcoko1_500 and Sienna Miller…

Your efforts were noted and appreciated.

slide_295897_2416422_freeHeidi, I know you probably have a surplus of vow-renewal gowns that you don’t have a use for anymore, but that is no excuse. You and Kate Upton have wasted everyone’s time.

slide_295897_2416968_freeThat GAP maxi dress would have been fine if this was the Kid’s Choice Awards, Kate! Show some respect, you could have at least put a safety pin through your earlobe or done  anything that would indicate you took this theme seriously.

rooney-mara-met-ball-2013-red-carpet-03 Rooney Mara…. she seems like a fun, down-to-Earth gal, doesn’t she?

On the other side of the coin…

slide_295897_2416465_free WE GET IT, JENNIFER!!! YOU’RE LIKEABLE!!!!! 

tumblr_mmfn27l8751qz7snso1_500And you know what, Kim? Good for you. Anna Wintour couldn’t keep you out of the Met Ball forever.  And your Fraulein Maria Couture dress is truly one of a kind.

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Obsessed With: Anastasia Perfect Brow Pencil

If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be:

1. We’re all okay.*

2. Don’t ever date a stand up comedian.

3. Don’t over pluck your eyebrows.

*Actually, it was Jewel who wanted to tell you that. I, personally, think we’re screwed. Enjoy this beautiful weather we’re having– we’ll all be under water soon.

Numbers 2 and 3 were sound advice, though.

Eyebrows are something you really need to be careful with. If you over-pluck, a perfectly attractive face can suddenly look like it belongs to an extra in a whore house scene on SVU. An even bigger risk is that your eyebrows might not grow back. I remember in middle school, there was this weird trend where girls would pluck off half of their eyebrow (I don’t mean that figuratively. I mean that like they’d literally pluck off the second part of their eyebrow. The tail to the shooting-star, if you will). May God bless those girls and bestow them with the ability to grow back the other half of their eyebrows.

Women, don’t be afraid of an ample brow, and don’t hesitate to fill them in a little, either.

I use Anastasia’s Perfect Brow Pencil in Strawburn, $22 from Sephora and Nordstroms because it’s the business.

I just like to draw ’em in like this is third grade art class and then comb them out with the little brush. It makes everything even and perfect and lasts all day and blah blah blah. Basically, I’m one step closer to this girl:

Eyebrows 4dayyyz. Give in to it, ladies!