Clothes I Look Stupid In: Part III

How did this happen? How did I end up with two sets of gaudy loafers in a span of one week? I need answers!

I started out frugally by buying the cheap glitter pair on the left from GoJane.com for $16 plus shipping. A steal price-wise, but I’m pretty sure they were made out of poster board. I found the leopard pair at Marshall’s for $43 and my God, it was like these were made for someone to actually wear comfortably. What was I to do? I couldn’t choose between them . Either I would have to return the first pair, which would take effort, or not buy the second pair which was obviously superior in quality and style. It was like Sophie’s Choice. It was exactly like choosing which one of your two children would die at the hands of  a Nazi.

Of course, I couldn’t give one up.

These shoes fall into the category of items that your girlfriends find attractive because they read the same JCrew catalogues you do, but any straight male human thinks they’re weird and ugly. Which is so strange because why wouldn’t they find shoes sexy that are predominately intended for elderly men?

I just want to know how much mileage I’m going to get out of these until a magazine reminds me that they are actually ugly and we all have to go back to wearing ballet flats again. I already threw out my ballet flats!

Sashay, Shante

I finally feel like that perfect mix of Dina Lohan and a Real Housewife of New Jersey. I may be 3 glasses of Sauvignon Blanc deep (which is just deep enough for me), but I feel like the classiest lady this side of Long Island (I’m actually from NH but my soul is from Long Island).

I just bought this coat from Banana Republic. This is what the joy of tipsy suburban mall shopping looks like. I walked through JCPenny’s liked I OWNED that dizzy bizzy (look, I can’t be held accountable for anything I say right now… though my grammar and typing is still flawless). My parents said ‘look she’s strutting through Jay-Cee-Pee-Pee’ (okay, I added that abbreviation and the extra ‘P’) as if I was Carrie Bradshaw, I said, “do I strut? Am I a strutter?” like the coquette that I am in this faux fur coat (that’s a real Carrie Bradshaw quote, btw).

Anyway, the point of this post is that I hope you find your faux fur leopard print coat this season- whether it’s a real materialistic piece or just a state of mind. It’s a bad economy, ya know? Just find whatever gets you in that spirit. Okay bye, the Sex and the City Movie is on. But I’m serious…