People Who Still Make Fun of Kim Kardashian are BASICCCC

Last week Kim Kardashian was on an episode of the NPR game show podcast “Wait, Wait… Don’t Tell Me” which is a dumb podcast that is not as good as the less appreciated NPR game show podcast “Ask Me Another.” Kim was an utter delight, but NPR listeners freaked out that she and her voice were not worthy of being inside their elitist ear holes. And to them, and every other person who still makes fun of Kim, I say “YERRR BASICKKKKK.”

Still calling someone basic might be considered basic, but I think basic is a word we need in the English language. It’s timeless, and I think if you want me to eradicate this word from my repertoire, you might as well ask me to give up words like “love,” “God,” and “America.”

So, yah basic, Kiki haters. I was once one of you for sure. I never watched anything in the Kardashian kanon until the Caitlyn stuff happened and I still have no idea if Dash is a real store. I judged Kim sight unseen because of the sex tape thing and just her whole lifestyle in general, but I have seen the light and I think Kim is great. I think she’s smart, I think she’s in on it, I think she’s really sweet, and I don’t think she’s any worse than any other celebrity out there who is making money off selling their baby’s first photo spread to People Magazine. If you’re still stumbling around telling everyone that the Kardashians are what’s wrong with this country, then go find a middle aged white male meet up group so you can discuss in peace that and how kids these days won’t stop tweeting about what they had for lunch today.

And stop kalling Khloe “the ugly one!” She’s not the ugly one, and even if she was you’re rude and basic and probably the ugly one in most social circles. BYYYYE.

Twitter Tuesday: Kim Kardashian

What does Kim have on her mind today?

……….

Ohhhhh… okay. Kim was making a little joke! Good for you, Kim.

Well, just set up a meeting with Ryan Sea…er… “Cupid” and you two can discuss his casting decisions…. I mean…. “aim.” Just kidding @miilkkk, you will never get within 50 feet of Ry….pid…

Ok, let me preface this by saying suicide is never the answer, but if this really is the most exciting day of your life, I don’t really see many other options for you. So let’s not be so easy breezy with those hyperboles.

I’m with Kim on this one. It’s hard to fathom what TV writers are going to come up with. Just consider yourself lucky they didn’t kill you off or recast you with a cardboard cut out of yourself.

Finally! The name of the sequel to her sex tape is revealed!

Hold on, can I just throw in some Khloe for good measure?

…Yes…yes, Maude Apatow, she did. Sorry, this was all that was left over in the Female Role Model Discount Bin. Is it too late to pick Melissa Joan Hart? I’m pretty sure she made it through her 20’s without a DUI….

And lastly….

I think that one can stand on its own.