Neon Bracelet DIY

As I’ve mentioned a couple times before, I have a pretty sordid past in pageantry (do you want to take a minute with that alliteration?………….. okay, let’s move on). As I have since retired my crown (my imaginary crown that I never won because I’m a feminist, you guys) I now have a surplus of tacky pageant clothes and jewelry that can pretty much never be worn again (except when I dress up to watch Eden’s World when it premieres on Logo in 2 weeks… or as I affectionately refer to it as, Before They Were Porn Stars).

I love a good sexualization of a 6 year old. But, who doesn't?

The jewelry I bought for pageants has been especially useless– it turns out I can’t think of one occasion besides a debutante ball that would require me to wear fake diamond earrings from Claire’s that hang so low they brush my shoulders ever so softly like a tiny baby whisper. My rhinestone bracelet is also something that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense in my wardrobe, so I decided to spruce it up with a little nail polish (which turns out to be the perfect painting implement for my petite hands paws…. a moment of silence for that batch of alliteration).

Sure, this bracelet now has the unmistakable scent of ethyl acetate, but it’s so neon and pretty, and when I get compliments on it I can be all smug and say “oooh thanks, ya, I made it,” which is, as we all know, the only reason why anyone would put their time into a DIY project–the smug factor.

In My Purse

Here’s what’s in my purse:

Somewhere around 5 dollars in change. A pastime of mine is to hoard change in an animal crackers plastic gallon jug, and then eventually use it for gambling money. Just know that your coins are not safe left out around me (your cash is fine, it’s not like I have a drug problem, and I need money for crack…. I realize, though, that it might sound like I have a gambling problem. I do not [but that’s what they all say. {but really, I don’t.}]).

6 kinds of lip gloss/stick/chapstick. Loyal readers will know that I like to keep my lips supple and protected from sunlight at all times.

Nivea lotion. I would say this is closer to Crisco than just a plain moisturizer, but I like to keep my elbows feeling like 600 thread count sheets.

Rice paper oil-blotting sheets. Because all the moisturizer on my lips and elbows just seep out of the pores on my T-Zone. It’s like a BP oil-spill situation on my forehead. Just drop me in a fish tank and they’ll all start floating to the top.

Eye-lash curler. Instead of making more time to get ready before I go out, I like to clamp something metal dangerously close to my eyelid then point a wand caked in black sticky chemicals near my cornea while I drive… so this always just ends up in my purse.

A credit card pouch. Because I rarely carry cash, (and when I do, I like to leave it floating around in my purse in rolled up receipts) I don’t really need a full wallet. I just like to drop anything the size of credit card in here and then shuffle through the deck like this is Reno until I find my debit card or ID.

JCrew bracelet. This has no place in my purse, but it’s been in there since Christmas. If I keep all my jewelry in my purse, then I always have it (there was actually about 7 more pieces of jewelry in there just tangled up in one big ball of cheap Forever 21 metal).

Fortune. Sadly, this really was in my purse.

American Eagle Jewelry Collection

Back in high school- mostly sophomore and junior year- American Eagle was my jam. I got all my jeans there because they sold petites that not only fit my stunted legs, but strangely proportioned hips to waist ratio. Their graphics tees? All day every day. Winter hats? You know I tried to wear them, but one-size fits all generally only applies to me with men’s hats.

I even remember a friend saying she was going to buy some stuff from American Eagle, but went to a different store instead because she figured that AE was “my thing.” Which makes me wonder what kind of tyrant I was in high school or if she was just extremely thoughtful in ensuring that we didn’t start inadvertently showing up places in the same outfit. I guess we’ll never know.

Anyway, I stopped shopping there for reasons unknown, and haven’t been back for years, until this weekend when I did a little perusing of their jewelry selection.

I must say, I’m pretty impressed. They’re boho enough to make me look like a free spirit, but not so much so that I look like I play hackie sack. They’re inexpensive, but don’t look like they might rot your ear lobe off like a Forever 21 earring (which, I’m not saying I’m too good for or anything, I love some poorly made, trendy, $3 jewelry).

I’m really into their rings and bracelets, but they have some cute necklaces, too. Everything seems to run between $12-$20, and right now they have a buy one, get one half off sale. These are some of my favorites that I want to buy, wear, and then pretend I’m Drew Barrymore.