Tommy and the Norway Butter Crisis

This is Tommy. He’s a ‘singer, celebrities, and bloggers’ from Norway, and he has something to say to American comedians. Apparently, there is a severe butter shortage in Norway, and some of our own comics are making jokes about the Norwegian’s misfortune.

Tommy, let me be the first comedian* to apologize to you. Though I’ve never been paid to do comedy, so I’m technically not professional, and can really only call myself a comedian because I think it in my head… I must speak for everyone and say how sorry I am for how insensitive the US has been.

Our Norwegian friend makes a great point in this video. We make light of the Norwegians’ situation, but Americans are, as he says, very fat. I’m not looking to make anyone feel bad or anything, but these are just facts. We would really miss butter if suddenly it wasn’t available. I’m not fat (I’m not trying to brag or anything, but medically and stuff… I’m not fat) but I love to use bread as a vehicle to transport butter into my face-hole. I would feel a great void if it were gone.

Besides just bread and butter, think of how many recipes call for butter. Norway’s traditional Christmas cake is a butter cake. What are they supposed to do now?! And vegans, don’t you dare tell me they should use some vegan butter substitue. Get out of here, vegans! Get out!

Look, America. Have you ever seen pain like that? Tommy and his country are hurting. Don’t make fun of them. It’s just not right.

If you do make fun of Norway, I hope Tommy goes to your house and eats all your butter while your family watches. Then goes to your neighbor’s house and eats their butter. You totally deserve it.

Although, I will say, it’s kind of easy to make butter. Like, you can just buy some cream and whip it with some salt…

Irrelevant. Tommy, thank you for your bravery in speaking out.

*I’m a comedian, not a comedienne. Just like I’m an actor not and actress. You don’t call a female doctor a doctress, do you? Sorry, I’ll chill out.


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