My New Favorite Bravo House Husbands

Jason Hoppy used to be my main Bravo man, but ever since season 2 of Bethenny Ever After, I have become very disenchanted with him and B-Town.

{Two miserable rich people}

Let me start off by saying I think Bethenny is a holy terror and should have never gotten married to anyone in the first place, but mostly I’m sick of Jason getting his Skinnygirl Shapewear in a twist every time she gets a Christmas card from Ellen and Portia. Sorry you feel emasculated because you couldn’t buy the boat for your family, but keep sipping on your ‘all natural,’ premixed margarita while you sail through Malibu on the S.S. Skinnygirl and get over it.

I have some new favorite Bravo House Husbands who don’t have wives with multi-million dollar empires built on the poor self image and disordered eating habits of America’s women (but I think if they did, they wouldn’t be such a-holes about it).

Kroy Biermann, Husband of Kim Zolciak, Real Housewives of Atlanta


There are three things in life that get me every time and Kroy Biermann has accomplished all of them on Don’t Be Tardy for the Wedding: 1. Hot dads with babies, 2. When a dad paints his daughter’s nails, 3. When step children accept a step parent as their parent-parent and starts calling them mom or dad (I really can’t explain this last one, my parents aren’t divorced or anything, but that turns my black heart pink ev.ry. time). Besides Kroy being one hot dad who loves Kim’s girls as his own, he also seems to be really tickled by her eccentricities. His wedding vows might as well have said “I promise to let you do you, baby girl.”

Terry Dubrow, husband of Heather Dubrow, Real Housewives of Orange County

Terry and Heather Dubrow are encroaching on Ice and Coco’s status as my favorite reality show couple. I mean, I don’t think they’ll ever steal that spot because another thing that gets me every time is when a former bad boy gangsta waxes poetic about how much he loves and admires his wife– but the Dubrow’s are still a close second. The thing I like most about Terry is that he allows Heather to maintain some independence and is always supportive of her rich lady aspirations (“I’m going to open a restaurant so my friends and I have a place to hang out, Terry!” “That sounds fun, Heather!”). When Heather auditioned for a part in a sitcom that shot for 12 hours a day in some impractical place like Canada, Terry never said, “you can’t do this, we have four kids that are still at an age where they will literally die if they go unsupervised.” He knew that she knew that it wouldn’t work, but he let her make that decision on her own rather than telling her no.

Jason, if you’re reading this (I think he’s reading this) learn something from these men and just let Bethenny be the basket case millionaire she was born to be. Being a stay-at-home dad is a very admirable thing, anyway. Someone needs to make sure that Bryn is eating more than scooped out bagels and Skinnygirl meal bars (’cause you KNOW Miss Frankel is unknowingly instilling some food shame into that kid).

My Favorite TV Couples

My favorite couples on TV in no particular order:

ICE & COCO

This whole show is a lesson in why you shouldn’t judge a book by its enormous fake breasted cover. Ice and Coco may look like a wild couple, but they both seem like really genuine people who really love each other.

Bless his heart. He loves that woman.

BETHENNY FRANKEL & JASON HOPPY

Bethenny is probably my favorite Real Housewife and I am equal parts happy for her and shocked that she found Jason. I love Bethenny, but girl is out of her MIND. Luckily, she found Jason who is so beautifully normal. He knows his lady is nuts but I think he actually likes it, and he keeps her calm. He’s so sweet to her, he has a great family, and omg that hair line of his! Flawless. So help me if Bethenny screws this up.

LESLIE KNOPE & BEN WYATT

Leslie and Ben from Parks and Recreation are my new Jim and Pam. Their forbidden nerd love is the most precious thing on TV. The nerd love they have is what I hope for some day, which you could probably guess if you know anything about my Muppet dream wedding.

BENSON & STABLER 

I know Benson and Stabler from Law and Order: SVU are not romantically involved, but they’ve got sexual tension that’s like butter you can cut with a knife and spread on toast. My favorite is when Benson & Stabler have to go “undercover,” but it’s more like sexy role playing. ALL time favorite is when Olivia Benson pretends to be Elliot’s hooker to save his life! Classic! When Christopher Meloni leaves the show I don’t know that I’ll be able to come back from that.

HEF & HOLLY

I know this isn’t current, but it’s always in my heart! Puffin!!!

Real Housewives of NY: Morocco Part 3

I just had to post about this episode right now while I’m still flying on this Bravo adrenaline rush.

Lately, I had been feeling like the spark had left my relationship with the Real Housewives franchise. I still watch it all the time, but I had been hating myself a little more for it. I just couldn’t imagine that the third season of RHNJ could live up to 1 & 2 because they were losing genuinely unstable person, Danielle. Although Caroline will always be my top matriarch and Jacqueline’s marriage to Chris gives me hope for the future, it lost a lil’ something now that it’s just a lot of fighting between mostly sane people.

When Bethenny left RHNY, something was lost for me there, too. Without our Greek Chorus and comedic relief (which I think Mr. Cohen thought Sonja could live up to- not the case- she plays to the camera too much this season) it was again, a handful of ladies being out of hand catty and maybe giving a little ammunition to those who think women shouldn’t.. ya know..be politicians… or vote… or be allowed out of the house.

But. Tonight changed all that. It had been so long since “Scary Island” of season 3, that I forgot that we really do still have some unstable weirdos in our midst who bring color to the show beyond just fighting. The same color Bethenny and Danielle once brought. The scene when Alex interrupts Countess Luann, Cindy, and Kelly while getting their henna rivals Teresa’s table flipping and Kyle/Kim’s limo fight as the most memorable Housewives scene.

I could go on about this forever, but my favorite highlights are (spoilers):

  • Luann telling Alex to “go back to the cabinet you came out of.” I really feel like Luann is always white knuckling it and biting her tongue with these low blow comments as she tries to maintain her classy image (passive aggression and snobbery is more her style), but this season she’s really starting to let it fly.
  • Cindy, as the new comer (and this is my beloved father’s observation) is seeing this as an outsider and though she always has a look of “WTF?!” on her face, it was so elegantly highlighted in the shot of her and the two henna artists with there matching looks of shock (who went home and regaled their families with tales of the crazy, rich, white ladies).
  • The ultimate moment, though, was when the two most socially inept people of the show were left unattended. It was perfect pairing because Kelly hates emotions of any kind and Alex is a basket case. I wish I could wake up every morning to the clip of Alex talking with her eyes closed. I just pray they have a special extended episode like they did with the RHBH dinner party where they just show Alex and Kelly trying to communicate for an hour. Oh, please @BravoAndy, PULEAAASE!

Bethenny and Skinny Apple Cinnamon Margarita Recipe

Bethenny in the Skinnygirl Car

Bethenny Frankel is my favorite of all the Real Housewives for a couple of reasons. First, she is probably the only Housewife who has any sense of humor at all, which is why she got her own show. I’d much rather watch her gently harass a wedding planner and then pee in an ice bucket before she walks down the aisle than listen to her argue with some middle aged lady who takes her self too seriously.

The other reason why I like her is the Skinnygirl brand she has. She has this great article about all the things you can do with greek yogurt. I’ve been using greek yogurt as a healthy substitute for sour cream… like, I’ll go to Chipotle after the gym, buy a burrito …and chips/guacamole (it’s fine! I went to the gym!) and then instead of sour cream I dip my chips in greek yogurt! See? Skinny Girl!

In honor of Bethenny’s Skinnygirl margarita I’ve posted a recipe for a Skinny Apple Cinnamon Margarita, invented by my BFF/Bestie/Bosom Buddy/The Tia to my Tamara– Riley.

Apple Cinnamon Margarita
1.5 parts Apple Pucker
2 parts tequila (clear, not yellow if you can)
Fill with Diet Ginger Ale
Garnish cinnamon and sugar mix and an apple slice (I’d use the natural sweetner, stevia. You can also rim the glass with this mix).

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