Teen Mom

This past holiday weekend, my roommate and I were entrusted with keeping alive something far more precious than a human baby– a wittle dogggyyyyy, awww!!!

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Teen Mom

In exchange for wine, good karma, and instagrams of me wearing a doggy baby bjorn, we agreed to walk and feed this precious creature of God, Rufio.

I was really excited to do it because since moving to California from New Hampshire, I’ve been missing my Chiweenies (chihuahua/dachshund), Henry and Wilbur:

Bone Thugs

Bone Thugs

I was getting the itch to have something around the house that’s more pathetic and adorable than me, and I had begun thinking about how fun it would be to have my own dog. Though I can barely afford food for myself, and I’m not even allowed to have dogs in my apartment, once I get an idea in my head, I can’t get it out (unless there’s a Law and Order: SVU marathon on).

So playing puppy parents to Rufio came at the perfect time.425028_10152827182745144_417404990_nDo you remember how on every 90’s kid’s show, there was an episode where for a class  the cast had to pair up and “raise” an egg or baby doll for a week, as I guess, some form of birth control instead of just passing out free condoms and saving everyone the trouble? Well, I always thought that looked so fun, and through taking care of Rufio for the weekend, I finally got to live out my Saved By The Bell dreams.

At first, it was great that Jillian and I finally had a reason to get out of bed in the morning, and Rufio is the most well behaved, loving pup-pup two lesbian adoptive parents could ask for. Seriously, what’s the point of a farmers market if you don’t have a dog or baby strapped to your chest to stroll around with?

But, I think 3 days of parenting was long enough. I remembered how hard it is to care for a living thing if your parents aren’t there doing 90% of the work. Though we suddenly had a reason to get out of bed in the morning, we had to get out of it sooooo earllllllyyy!

However, to our credit, I think Jill and I would make great parents. I think if we’re still single at 45 we should adopt a Somalian orphan together. Preferably, a 14 year-old who can pretty much take care of herself.

5 Favorite Things Friday

Here are 5 of my favorite things of the week, which includes two mentions of American Idol (I make up for my impeccable taste in TV with my embarrassing taste in music).

1. This picture:

I have never stolen anything in my life. Except for a cup from UNOs and a Goosebumps book from my neighborhood Book Mobile (it was like camper…or a bus… with a kid’s library inside). The cup was intentional, but the book was not. I had it in my hand while perusing the Babysitter’s Club book selection, and then walked out forgetting it was in my hand (I returned the book the next Tuesday). I actually had a big habit of holding things in my hand and then forgetting about it. I lost $20 on the way to a school field trip in the second grade because of my hand-to-brain disconnect, and then I had no money to buy a souvenir from Odiorne State Park, which was the only reason I even cared about field trips (souvenirs and french fries, if those were available).

2. Asians on American Idol:

HeeJun Han! My man! I loved him since the first week in Hollywood when he would point out how annoying the kid with the cowboy hat was (which, kids who insist on wearing cowboy hats everywhere always are) and then stared into the camera Jim Halpern style. I’ve always wondered why contestants never blankly stare into the camera when something weird happens because that’s all I would do if I were on that show.

Jessica Sanchez should be the American Idol. In my opinion, no one can touch her talent-wise. She’s also some ridiculous age like 16, and she makes me want to reassess all my life choices. I would love to see an Asian American Idol. She’s actually Spanish and Filipino, so she’s only kind of Asian, but still, I would be happy to see anyone win who doesn’t look anything like Carrie Underwood. Or Taylor Hicks (yikes).

3. This baby squirrel who fell out of a tree, was rescued, and now wears a cast:

This is one of my favorite things of the week for a variety of reasons. 1. I love miniature things 2. I love animals doing human-ish things like wearing a cast 3. This squirrel’s name is Violet, which is what I plan to name my future daughter if I ever stop being totally ambivalent towards children.

4. Haley Rienhart is streaming her first single ‘Free’ on her Facebook:

Haley Reinhart is hands down my favorite American Idol contestant of all time. I love her voice, and I love that she always looks like she’s not 100% sure of where she is at any given moment and that she belongs to a family of rock & roll hippies. I don’t know if I love her new single (it might take a couple listens) but I still youtube her singing ‘Rhiannon’, ‘What is and What Never Will Be’, and ‘Benny and The Jets’ weekly (I told you how bad my taste in music was). Basically, I think HeeJun, Haley, and I would be great friends if they just met me!!!

5. George Clooney got arrested:

How does the Sexiest Man Alive get sexier? Arrest him for protesting in Sudan. I just…. I can’t.

FREE CLOONEY!