A Week Without Fruit, But Full of Freedom

Did everyone have a good 4th of July weekend?

This is what I did:

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Basically, I treated the last week as if it was my birthday where I celebrate for days by binge eating until food doesn’t taste good anymore.

Between yogurt and bagels I ate:

  • 1 hot dog
  • 1 burger
  • 1 quarter pounder with cheese (which is in a burger category all its own)
  • 1 slider (or like, half a burger?)
  • 2 Subway sammiches. Truthfully, it could have been 3.
  • 2 steak tacos from Del Taco
  • Fries on fries on fries.
  • and a kiddie sized Frosty for dipping.
  • Chips on dip on dip.
  • Two spicy chicken sandwiches in less than 24 hours, but one was from McDonald’s while the other was from Wendy’s, and those are two totally different experiences
  • and 2 fried cheesecake bites from the Del Taco drive thru that I couldn’t wait to eat, so I shoveled them into my gullet with one hand and steered into my garage with the other as I watched my trainer neighbor Nick run sprints shirtless on our sidewalk. I pawed sadly at the window and slowly drove passed him.

One day I shall introduce myself to him when my mouth isn’t full of fried saturated fats. But I don’t know when that day would realistically happen….

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Good Luck, America!

Just to preface, this post isn’t going to be about politics. I’d like to keep this blog inclusive. As long as being human and finding me funny is common ground we share, we can coexist peacefully. This post is just about Democrat or Republican, black or white, religious or not, we’re all just super stupid, like, across the board.

This is just a sample of what you see when you click on the PSAT trend on twitter. America’s teenagers giving China a run for their money.

Andy Cohen and Jill Zarin on a Watch What Happens Live special one-on-one in-depth interview. It’s not that they called this “Our Frost/Nixon,” it’s that it was my Frost/Nixon.

This is Megan McCain’s debate face: And then I looked through my phone and found this picture that I took of myself in iParty….

My politixxx face:

Hilzz for el presidentay, y’all!!! xoxox

So, this is what we’re working with, America!!!