Yes, I only ever post here if I have a new podcast. But, I think you’ll really like this podcast if you liked my blog. It’s called Les Deux You Remember This? and it’s about Hollywood in the early 2000’s. Les Deux is completely researched and written, and the first episode is about the feud of Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan.
Please subscribe on iTunes and leave a rating and review!!! Thanks, boos.
You people simply won’t believe this. There’s another episode of “You Need Therapy!” my world renowned podcast, available for your listening pleasure! And not just another episode… a FIFTH episode that I have managed to post on the day I said I would. Yes you heard that right, a new episode comes out every Wednesday! Sure, did I post about it here on my long neglected blog on Thursday? 7:30 PST which is 10:30 EST which is practically Friday? Maybe! I guess so! It sounds just as good as it would if you knew about it Wednesday!
Welp, here’s episode 5. We talk about reality TV and motivation/procrastination.
If you’re so inclined, please subscribe to “You Need Therapy!” Another easy thing to do is rate us! A harder thing to do is comment on our podcast in iTunes. I understand you all have jobs and this is inconvenient. But understand it takes a village to raise me into a famous person. It’s v. v. important to give us stars and comments on iTunes because it pushes us up in the ratings which is what we need if this podcast is ever going to be something other than a thing that gives me false illusions that I’m being productive.
Was that too sad? Oh well! Listen to us! Ask us questions to answer on the show!
My friend Shannon Amabile and I started a podcast- She’s an actual MFT and I’m a therapist like a bartender’s a therapist. We’re also comedians! The goal of the podcast is to help relieve the stigma of getting help for mental health issues both big and small. And to be famous!
We’d love to have some questions to answer on future episodes, so if you need any advice or have questions like “what personality disorder do you think Lindsay Lohan has?” (that particular question is covered, but you get the idea) you can email us at firstname.lastname@example.org or submit anonymously at our tumblr http://youneedtherapypodcast.tumblr.com/
Please download our podcast on iTunes… subscribe, rate, review and help us get into the New and Noteworthy section so I at least have some hope of not handing out samples at Whole Foods across SoCal for the rest of my life!
NEW EPISODES EVERY WEDNESDAY! AND I PROMISE WITH THIS PODCAST IT WILL ACTUALLY BE EVERY WEDNESDAY!!!!
Very soon, I’m putting out a new podcast! It’s called “You Need Therapy!” and it’s cohosted by my friend Shannon who is an MFT and a comedian. We met in UCB improv level THUH-REE so you know we must be funny because they don’t let just anybody into 301 improv. No way. Sometimes they don’t let people advance because they pose an emotional or physical threat to the other students. Not us. We made it to level 3 because the only physical threat we pose is to your funny bone.
Basically, we talk about different topics and how they relate to psychology and therapy. And sometimes we do it in (debatably) funny voices. We’re recording a bunch of episodes now so we can actually release them every week on the same day and the same time like professionals and not like the last time I had a podcast where I released them whenever I had time between Below Deck reruns and then got sick of it after two months.
So, although this is not specifically an advice podcast, we do want to take questions and answer them on the show. If you have a question relating to love, relationships of all kinds, identity, self esteem, mental health, etc. etc. etc. and you would like one qualified individual and one know-it-all to answer it on air, email us at email@example.com! We can keep you anonymous if you’d like! You can also ask anonymously in my Ask Me section on this blog.
And of course, when we start releasing episodes I’ll tell you alllll about it.
FIIIIRST, if you are pro-choice, you aren’t pro-abortion. None of us are chompin’ on fetus limb tempura and chasing it with some pinot. Or maybe a spicy cab? Dunno what fetus pairs well with LOL
Thought I’d clear the misconceptions with that one first.
Some idiot ANTI-CHOICE group took an undercover video of a PP doctor talking about the distribution of aborted fetus limbs and heavily edited it to try and make it sound incriminating. In reality, they were talking about a tissue donation program, ya know for like, SCIENCE. (You can read the PP statement about it).
Just a gentle reminder, abortion is legal– it’s still putting the “A” in the good ole’ U-S-of, so why wouldn’t we donate tissue towards stem cell research and the like?
DON’T MATTER, A-COURSE!
Because now GOP senators are just tryin’ their G-darndest to take away PP’s Title X funding. Their defense is that women with “legitimate healthcare needs” will find somewhere else to go besides Planned Parenthood. EXCEPT.
Title X funding never goes towards abortions services… oops oops oops!!!
And actually if you take away safe access to abortion, ladies will still find a way to take care of this legitimate health care need. As in, rich women will find a way to do it safely, and poor people will do it dangerously or not at all. Meaning poor people will have kids they can’t afford OR they’ll end up dead from a botched aborsh, while rich people will continue to stay rich, sitting pretty on their taints untainted by childbirth.
Now, if you’re salivating over this story and feeling vindicated because PP is a bunch of liberals picking the quinoa out of their teeth with baby bones, please remember this:
Abortions are 3% of what Planned Parenthood does…mostly they are trying to keep STD’s off the streets and are handing out condoms and squeezing the middle aged titties belonging to low income women afraid of tittie cancer.
If you think you care so much about unborn babies, ask yourself what these people who go to these extreme lengths to discredit PP are doing to help the actual out-of-the-vag babies? Maybe if they put a little more time into caring for babies whose parents have no money or making sure that drug addicts knew where to get some free condoms, maybe, JUST MAYBE, we’d have less abortions AND less children in the foster care system.
I probably changed 0 hearts and minds with this blog post, but if you already agree with me, GO HERE and tell them dummies that you’re all about that Planned Parenthood life!
Blessings to you and yours!
Happy Friday, Dream Lovers. Here is the newest video I wrote and co-star in.
In these deleted scenes of women in disaster films written by men, some probing questions will finally be answered, including “how does the modern woman facing imminent death in the zombie apocalypse find the time to keep her armpits looking so fresh and hairless?”
If you’re interested in my write about up about the video that was featured on Amy Poehler’s Smart Girl website, here’s the link.
Here’s a video I made all by my lonesome, just me and a camera, making a clickbait-y video. Please, by all that is holy, can you subscribe to my YouTube?
On May 2, Floyd Mayweather Jr. and Manny Pacquiao go head to head in what is poised to be the fight of the decade. It’s sure to be an exciting and inspiring night that celebrates hard work, the human spirit, and the tacit agreement between advertisers and fans that money and sports take higher priority than the safety of women and children!!!!!!
Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a currently undefeated, five division world champion boxer having won 10 world titles. All of those words mean that he is really exceptionally good at beating up other people in his weight class. You know who probably weren’t in his weight class? All of his wives he abused!
Mayweather has been accused of 7 instances of physical assault against 5 different women, and in 2012 he was convicted for beating his then and current ex-wife because he suspected her of dating an NBA player. He came into her house and attacked her until their 10 year old child escaped the house and called the police. His ex-wife later said that had it not been for the police, she believes she would have been killed.
His punishment? 2 months in jail and an estimated net worth of 300 million dollars! Tough!
Now, what can you do?
Simple! Boycott the fight!
But, what if you can’t boycott the fight? Like if an armed intruder ties you to a chair and holds your eyelids open in front a TV. We’ve all been there. My advice is to root for Manny. He’s never been accused of domestic violence and searching “Manny Pacquaio good guy” returns some pre-tty convincing search results. In fact, in one article his trainer Freddie Roach says Manny is quote, “really against domestic violence.”
So now that you know that Floyd Mayweather Jr. is a serial abuser of women and all around poop bucket, I hope you realize that someone like him doesn’t deserve to keep on enjoying the fame our society has afforded him. And if you disagree, pick up the phone, call who ever raised you and ask where the beep boop did they go wrong?
Until next time……………
OH, ALSO! Mike Tyson is a convicted rapist, BYEEEEE.
Let’s talk about the only thing I care about right now, The Jinx; or, Did You Hear That? It’s The Death Rattle of Sarah Koenig.
If you haven’t seen all of The Jinx; or The Masterpiece That Was Gifted To Andrew Jarecki Through No Merit of His Own then please move along. You, you sweet reader, are the luckiest of us all. You get to experience every episode for the very first time. Enjoy it. Cherish it. Stay away from all media outlets lest your deliciously ignorant eyes be tainted by spoilers. Goodbye, and return to me after your journey through a world you could never imagine.
Now that those losers are gone, let’s get down to brass tacks. Or brass tax? Like brads you use to fasten paper together or the taxation of brass? We’ll never know. Here’s my thoughts as they come because I can’t even organize my thoughts on this, there are too many.
- Did the full weight of how terrifying the American justice system crush you after they talked to that Galveston jury member in the last episode and he was just like, “yeck-yeck-yeck, I’m from Texas, Robert Durst seems like a cool, innocent city slicker!” Even that horrible son-figure of Susan Berman finally came to Jesus and did the right thing by the end, though I hope he is haunted by his choices for the rest of his life and in his final moments on Earth he is visited by the spirit of Susan who will tell him that she forgives him, but God does not and Robert Durst appears, takes his hand and escorts him to Hell. If there’s an after life, of course.
- I have a certain level of respect for Robert because every time Andrew Jarecki called him and just said “it’s Jarecki,” Bob always replied with “Hello, Andrew.” I mean that man definitely killed at least 5 people and probably countless cats, but he never let that human personification of a dyed goatee get away with something almost as bad as murder.
- Oh yeah, Jarecki The Garbage Monster neglected to mention that Bobbie almost definitely had something to do with the disappearance of 2 teenage girls. Or that he left a severed cat head on the door step of the judge presiding over the Galveston trial. OR that he got arrested once for peeing on a candy rack in a CVS!!!!
- WHY DIDN’T JARECKI EVER REVISIT THAT LITTLE TIDBIT ABOUT ROBERT DURST’S FATHER TAKING HIM OUTSIDE TO WATCH HIS MOTHER JUMP TO HER DEATH?! This is arguably the reason WHY he is a serial killer!!! I hate Jarecki so much.
- Loved that “Annie” poster at the train station.
- When that prosecutor with the weave was all “sonovabitch” when she saw the two “Beverley Hills” envelopes.
- DEBRAH LEE CHARATANNNNN! Forever and ever, amen.
One last thing, as much as I hate Jarecki, watch the documentary on Hulu Plus called Capturing The Friedmans. It nearly ruined his career because it’s just another indication of what an imbecile he is, but it’s soooo good despite that little weasel because the subjects are Durst-level wacky.