Life Hack: Kidnapping

Here’s a quick life hack (I have a very loose grasp on the definition of “life hack”):

Consider giving your roommate or a family member an approved photo of yourself in case of your unfortunate disappearance at the hands of, no doubt, some male deviant. If your emergency contact doesn’t have a photo they can quickly hand over to the press or to the screen printer, then your “Find Samantha” t-shirts will end up with some random Huey, Duey, and Luey kissy-faced picture that was pulled from your personal Instagram account.

Like what if some journalist published this on LAist.com?

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Me as Hipster Ariel on Halloween taking a selfie in a bathroom mirror is not exactly the kind narrative I’d like to have portrayed to the world.

Now this picture:

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Aren’t I sweet? I’m wearing matching jammies with a mom who loves me very much! Don’t you want to find me??? My hair is freshly dyed, my face is looking vuuury thin, this is this is the sort of picture you want to use!

Listen, if you’re fighting for your life in the trunk of an old Honda Civic,wouldn’t you at least like the peace of mind that you have full creative control over your disappearance?

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5 thoughts on “Life Hack: Kidnapping

  1. I have never thought about this before. However, when I get home I am going to pre-approve my ‘missing’ photo.’

    This also reminds me of the meme (but in reverse) on Facebook which goes along the lines of:

    Dear photoshoppers. If you go missing how are we supposed to find you if in reality you look like stig of the dump but Facebook says you’re Americas next top model.

  2. Hey

    Listen, if you’re fighting for your life in the trunk of an old Honda Civic,wouldn’t you at least like the peace of mind that you have full creative control over your disappearance?

    Is this a perverse fable or what are you trying to tell?
    If you remember you with such fictional stories live meaningful, then is wrong with you quite formidable thing.
    Real crazy … Well yes..USA ^^

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