Milestone: My First Mean Comment

I can’t believe it took me almost two and a half years of posting on this blog, but it finally happened. I got my first insulting comment!

This little gift was left for me on an older post, The Nice Guys of OKCupid!

It was actually in reply to another comment I had replied to, in which a 22 year-old dude told me I was wrong and he was offended…

OH, WAIT! MILESTONE TWO!

My first offended reader!!!!

The comment from the offended reader was just way too long to post here, but the gist of it was, “you’re wrong about your thoughts and feelings and the thoughts and feelings of other women your age, Certified Vagina Owner. As a 22 year-old dude with a lot of life experience, you can just defer to me and my opinions since your brain is made up of a hollow, dark chocolate Easter bunny filled with Midol pills.”

I mean, in his original argument, he was saying that he’s a nice guy but girls don’t like him, and girls only like assholes, which makes me think that he didn’t even really read the post (maybe because he just couldn’t get over the shock that my dad or brother let me use his computer. It’s a miracle my cup of tea didn’t slip through my delicate lady hands and spill all over the keyboard) because I kind of addressed that myth directly. Not eloquently or intelligently, but I did address it.

In my reply to this kid, I kind of just said, “shut up, 22 year old boy,” and referred him to another article that might help clarify my point. Because I’m just trying to open hearts and minds here, people.

Okay, then came the mean comment (from a different guy):

Screen shot 2013-06-26 at 9.34.58 AMFirst of all, thank you for calling my assertions “hilarious,” but what is questionable about Tom Hanks being nice? Scientists have been studying him for years and they came up with that conclusion, not me. Secondly, why do I have to choose between being mentally deficient OR trying to get attention? And I thought that by having a blog it was just implied that I am looking for attention?

Andy, I can see where you got your last name, “Wisdom” (what is that, Greek?). Everyone does have flaws. Like for me, the proportions of my individual body parts are totally out of whack: my hands and wrists are abnormally small, so you’d think that I’d have some really tiny feet, right? Nope! A totally average size 8!

Also, what are these separate flaws that “assholes” and “nice guys” have? Because please, oh, please, remember that the whole point of the post (that I don’t think you read) is that a [QUOTE] Nice Guy [END QUOTE] is really just an asshole in sheep’s clothing, not a genuine and kind man.

And listen, I’m not saying that women don’t date assholes and then write off guys who treat them with respect. There are plenty of woman who do. If that didn’t happen then all the strip clubs across this great nation would be empty and we’d have to turn them all into libraries and soup kitchens. Saying that we ALL date people who treat us badly is just a lazy, sweeping generalization that is patronizing to women.

So, thank you, Andy Wisdom, you made my day because you haven’t really made it until people start insulting you. Hopefully, one day soon I’ll hit it big and have thousands and thousands of followers, and then I can finally start tweeting things like “Good Morning, Haterz! xox #soblessed”

OR

“Can’t see haterz! #raybans #michelobultra #BFFs #livelaughlove #sorrynotsorry #sweetsummer”

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17 thoughts on “Milestone: My First Mean Comment

  1. You need to let go of this now, for your own sanity, you don’t know these clowns and they obviously haven’t got anything better to do than argue on the net. Just take some deep breaths and go and paint your toenails (only joking lol)

    I wouldn’t let it bother me :O)

  2. And here’s the really cool part… You are the Goddess of the Blog so you can kill the trolls and send their mewling sputters to “unapproved” purgatory or “trash” hell. Off with their heads! (Both heads, or at least the ones down there that they think with…)

  3. Ha ha, all the comments themselves made pretty good reading!! Well done in offending someone with out being offended in return.

    Keep up the good work

  4. If abortions didn’t stay legal in Texas and DOMA wasn’t overturned, this would be my favorite thing that has happened today. I’ve also had similar tweets on standby for when I get super famous so I’m glad that i’m in good company. Either way, I’m very happy for you. I hope someone hates on me soon.

  5. Shit, I am SO jealous of you right now that I’m almost offended and really want to say something mean to you. So jealous. I also want to date Andy Wisdom and spend our entire relationship telling anecdote after anecdote; maybe also have a Tom Hanks marathon, I don’t know if we’ll have time …

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  7. Hello again, today I saw the video by the serial killer Elliot Rodgers, and people are talking about the “Nice Guy” thing in the comments, so I came back to read your post again. But instead I found this!”

    Let me respond to you point by point (I’m just doing this for lulz, because you’re obviously some sort of wannabe troll/comedian)

    “First of all, thank you for calling my assertions “hilarious,” but what is questionable about Tom Hanks being nice? Scientists have been studying him for years and they came up with that conclusion, not me.”

    I’m glad your interests in comedy are restrained to this blog. Don’t quit your day job.

    “Secondly, why do I have to choose between being mentally deficient OR trying to get attention? And I thought that by having a blog it was just implied that I am looking for attention?”

    Good point. You don’t have to choose. That works out nicely for you.

    “Andy, I can see where you got your last name, “Wisdom” (what is that, Greek?). Everyone does have flaws. Like for me, the proportions of my individual body parts are totally out of whack: my hands and wrists are abnormally small, so you’d think that I’d have some really tiny feet, right? Nope! A totally average size 8!”

    Please, please continue to completely deflect from my argument with a cheesy joke again. Maybe if you do it enough times you will get it out of your system and respond like an adult to what I’m saying.

    “Also, what are these separate flaws that “assholes” and “nice guys” have? Because please, oh, please, remember that the whole point of the post (that I don’t think you read) is that a [QUOTE] Nice Guy [END QUOTE] is really just an asshole in sheep’s clothing, not a genuine and kind man.”

    At the end of the day, it really comes down to simple biology. There are about 25 different polymorphic genes that influence how much testosterone any of us produces. A fetus with a particular genetic makeup secretes more testosterone in the womb – causing a permanent and organizing effect on brain development, which is significant during pregnancy when the fetuses brain is developing at a rapid rate. This has been shown to predict future behavior (empathy, eye contact, etc).

    So saying “a Nice Guy is really just an asshole in sheep’s clothing, not a genuine and kind man.” is biologically unsound and, to steal your own words, a ‘lazy, sweeping generalization’. Men are … actually different. Shocking, I know.

    Perhaps “assholes” are just high testosterone individuals who are more aggressive sexually, and evolutionarily speaking, women get wet for this. I’ve had so many friends who had her baby with such an individual, and then he says ‘fuck this shit, on to the next one’, he bolts, and the woman comes crawling back to the nice guys looking for a long term partner who would support her and take care of her child.

    Darwin was right.

    “And listen, I’m not saying that women don’t date assholes and then write off guys who treat them with respect. There are plenty of woman who do. If that didn’t happen then all the strip clubs across this great nation would be empty and we’d have to turn them all into libraries and soup kitchens. Saying that we ALL date people who treat us badly is just a lazy, sweeping generalization that is patronizing to women.”
    Yes, you’re right, that is a sweeping generalization that is patronizing to women, just like “a Nice Guy is really just an asshole in sheep’s clothing, not a genuine and kind man” is a sweeping generalization that is patronizing to men. I guess I was just responding to an absurd statement with another absurd statement.

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