How Mom is Adjusting to Life Without Me

Since I’m no longer on my mother’s couch watching the Jodi Arias trial when my mom gets home from work everyday (instead, I’m on my couch in LA watching the Jodi Arias trial when my roommate gets home from work everyday), I’ve been getting a lot of texts from her checking in.

You are about to read original texts from my mother, complete and uncut:

For a little background, I sent my mom home with the brand new GPS my dad bought me because I thought it was defective. Apparently, a quick once over of something called “directions” would have proven that the GPS was, in fact, completely functional.

photo 2-1 photo 3-1This next group of messages occurred after I told my mother I was going to a bar called The Den, an establishment once frequented by my confirmed (by my mother) soul mate, Jason Segel.

Please take note of the fact that it is 3 hours later than the time stamp where my mother is in NH:

 photo 1

So, besides the text I got from my brother the other day informing me that my mother was crying over my inevitable death in an earthquake, I think she’s doing okay. Until she remembers about California brush fires.

8 thoughts on “How Mom is Adjusting to Life Without Me

  1. Your mother is adorable.
    When I moved into my first apartment in the “big City” (an hour away from my home) my mother apparently cried all the way home. When I moved into my second apartment about 8 minutes from my home my mother cried because my roommates were smokers and she thought I was gonna die there. You can’t win.

  2. Very funny Dar, soo funny. You left off where every time I pulled in the driveway and your car wasn’t there I cried. Dad is getting ready to ship me out to you, so how funny would that be. Huh!

  3. Just about spit hot tea on my screen. Fix the spelling of “cancelled”… That’s called (as your mom might spell it) “irunny.” Keep these coming.

    Wait, is that your mom in the comment above me? Hi, Dara’s mom!

  4. Haha this is great. My mom is pretty similar. I’ve been living in Colorado for almost two years now (keep in mind that before that I was living away at college for four years), and just the other day my mom said to me, “I think I’m finally getting used to you not living here.” Which made me feel much better than when I would tell her things like, “I just made my first apple pie!” and her response would be, “Oh wouldn’t it be nice if we lived closer? I could come over and eat a piece with you.”

    Constant guilt trips with moms…

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