Karmin and Lizzie McGuire: Beacons of Morality

In the same vein of Barbara Walter’s 10 most fascinating people of 2012, I would like to announce the person I’ve found to be most fascinating to me this year:


Now I realize Karmin is actually a group comprised of two engaged people, but for all intents and purposes it’s really just one person, the pretty lady. Even Rolling Stone doesn’t want to waste time acknowledging them as two people.

My fascination with them/her is with her ability to keep this charade going that her fiance isn’t a totally useless entity and why she hasn’t just started giving him the wrong locations or times to their gigs and appearances. The fact that she is dragging this out is really annoying me. Is she really so loyal that despite how obvious it is that she’s the real star of the group, she’s going to let him hang around?

I feel like he just started out as someone who could play background music and do harmonies while she sang in those Youtube videos, and then when she told him she thought her stage name should be Karmin, he was like, that’s a weird name for a band, but okay I guess we can call ourselves Karmin, and she felt too guilty correcting him.

But ma’am needs to loosen up those morals because this is starting to bug me. Like, I was never a big Lizzie McGuire or Hilary Duff fan back during the time that she must refer to as her pre-baby glory days. Besides the fact that I thought Disney was insulting my preteen intelligence by trying to pass Hilary off as a singer, I couldn’t stand the implausible moral high ground that Lizzie was always taking. I didn’t watch many episodes, but the only one I can remember is when Lizzie gets discovered as a model but gives it up because she didn’t get to spend enough time with her friends and they were getting disappointed. Karmin is Lizzie right now. Being way nicer and moral than anyone is expecting of them.


The only reason why some high powered music exec hasn’t told her “you’re great, kid, we wanna sign you, you’ll be a big star! Just lose the boy!” which movies and TV have taught us is how the music industry works, is because Ellen Degeneres discovered them. Ellen, her morals, and Converse shoes probably gave birth to Lizzie McGuire herself. She would never make Karmin get rid of her useless, straight fiance just in the name of fame and making logical sense.

This just seems so obvious to everyone but the lady-half of Karmin. Also, who would pick their friends over modeling, and why is this a relevant lesson Disney felt the need to teach children? Why are they trying to create less models and more friends? Still so stupid after all these years.


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