Brand New Things That Annoy Me

  • When people say “The only thing worse than *blank* is…” If the end of that sentence doesn’t end in “a nuclear holocaust” or even “a surprise epidemic of children contracting polio thanks to Jenny McCarthy telling everyone that vaccines give babies autism” then I’m pretty sure it can be a lot worse. Just off the top of my head– and I’m just spit balling here– summer cancer might be worse than the summer sniffles. But what do I know?
  • Children coached by their parents on TV. I’m not about to make disparaging remarks about a 7 year old who just had open heart surgery, BUT I’m okay with making disparaging remarks about the kid’s mother. This morning I was watching the Today Show, and Savannah Gutherie was interviewing this kid who was in some Super Bowl commercial and then had heart surgery. He seemed like a poised, well behaved child, and then at the end of the interview he said to Savannah “congratulations on your new job.” This would be adorable if 7 year olds had any concept of social graces beyond “please” and “thank you.” His mother obviously told him to say that and I feel like this kid and his cracked sternum are being exploited by his stage mother.
  • Flesh eating bacteria and zip lines. This is old news, but today I heard about that girl in Georgia who fell off a broken zip line and contracted some flesh eating bacteria from the cut on her leg. Now you can add to the list of things I’m concerned about (which includes riding a bike without a helmet, leaving my tooth brush out on the bathroom counter where germs can congregate on the bristles, and using too much hand sanitizer and thus building a resistance to anti-biotics): zip lines and flesh eating bacteria. I don’t need this!

Things that should annoy me, but I, in fact, find charming:

Mike Tyson!

2 thoughts on “Brand New Things That Annoy Me

  1. Number one on my list is people who complain about the heat daily (it’s summer…it’s been hot in the summer every year for the last 6 billion years, so I doubt the world is going to change its climate because you’re sweating and uncomfortable).

  2. Haha, I agree with Sean, and adding to that, people who moan about it getting dark earlier in the winter and those that comment on it staying light later in the summer, like it’s the first time they’ve ever experienced it.

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