If You Give a Guy a Scrapbook…

Do you remember that kid’s book “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie?” I personally don’t remember the logistics of what happens when you give a mouse a cookie, but I know that in the real world, giving a mouse a cookie means that business gets real and suddenly you have an infestation, and you end up with some crawling in your hair while you sleep like that Sex and the City episode (mouse in the hair accounts for 30% of my fears of moving to NYC, the other 70% being every episode of Law and Order: SVU).

So if you really love wild mice, (and I don’t count anything out nowadays because yesterday when I saw The Hunger Games I saw a teenager reading ‘Wreck this Journal’ during the previews and licking each page. To you, young lady, I’m not sure that it does get better) give a mouse a cookie because then he’ll never leave you. The same cannot be said if you give a guy a scrapbook. If you give a guy a scrapbook…. he’s probably going to dump you…maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow. But eventually. 

I felt like this had to be said (and boys who read this blog, do not tell me in the comments that if a girl gave you a scrapbook you would love it, maybe you would, but that means you’re either the exception to the rule or you think you’d love it, but you’d still dump her in the end, anyway. Either way, don’t undermine me on my own blog, okay? This is all I have).

I just felt the need to stop any of you girls before you go to all the trouble of buying ric-rac and glitter paper. I’ve been seeing a lot of young girls making scrapbooks for guys– I was once even guilty of it. I know it seems like a fun and inexpensive gift, but a scrapbook is what you want, not what he wants. For one, scrapbooks are not inexpensive. When all is said and done, you could have bought him a baseball cap for the same price and you didn’t have to assemble it. It’s unfair that something made out of paper that you had to glue together ends up being so expensive, but there’s a reason why Martha Stewart went to jail.

If you’re thinking about making a scrapbook for your boyfriend and the price and time doesn’t deter you, I first want you to think, why would a 16 year old boy like this? (We might have a bigger problem if you’re asking yourself why a 26 year old boy would like this but that’s for you and your God to sort out. My argument remains the same).

Really. It’s a scrapbook. What is he going to do with it? 16 year old boys don’t think in scrapbook terms. Things like that don’t make them realize, “wow, this girl really likes me. I have a great thing going, having this total catch really appreciate me. Better not blow it!” You’re more mature than he is, you would think this if he gave this to you, but I promise you, it’s not mutual. Scrapbooks, in a boy’s head, are just a bit much.

Most importantly, I have known a lot of girls who’ve given scrapbooks to their boyfriends. Not a-one of them is still with that guy. Remember this. You probably won’t be with this person anyway, but at least you can look back and say ‘at least I didn’t put in all that time to make him a scrapbook, what a waste of Lisa Frank stickers that would have been!’ Use those stickers to make a scrapbook for your best friend. She will appreciate it.

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