A Day in the Life

Date: 3.12.12 (a Monday) 

Morning: I wake up to this email from my mother:

These emails are pretty routine- most emails from my mom include tips on not getting raped and stuff about dogs. I’ve mentioned before (like in my tips for not getting murdered/molested post) I am very cognizant of my surroundings.

You know those women who think that every guy is hitting on them? I’m like that except, I think every guy is going to murderer me (though, I think men do this more… strippers and Starbuck’s baristas don’t actually like you. They’re paid to put their boobies in your face and be polite…respectively). Like that email my mom sent is about how you should always know exactly how much cash you have on you because there’s some serial murderer/rapist/racist/cannibal man on the loose at gas stations going up to women and telling them they dropped five dollars. Then when the lady goes to take the money this MAN (dammit, MEN!) throws her into a white van or something. So, moral of the story, if someone tells you that you dropped money, they are trying to rape you.

Back to my day.

Afternoon: I fielded some text messages from people asking if I actually got a letter from Lindsay Lohan, which I did not.

Then I wasted a good chunk of time doing this:

  {Doesn’t Henry look like one of the Hyenas from The Lion King? He’s scratching his ear, he doesn’t normally look like this}

{Wilburrrrr}

Night: At work (I waitress) I watched two gay guys fight for 3 hours at the bar. To help you get a visual, they looked like this:

          

{Ryan Stiles with a goatee, kinda & Josh Strickland from Holly’s World}

Josh ended up slapping Ryan, but Josh could do better than RSwG, anyway (not because he was better looking, but because Ryan was giving money to his ex-boyfriend and meeting him for drinks and not telling Josh! Oh, no no no no no), so I don’t think it’s a big loss for him.

After they stormed out, I had a party of 15 who walked in about an hour before we were supposed to close at 9:30, and I didn’t end up getting home ’til almost midnight and didn’t even get much of a tip out of it.

Later that Night: I went home and dried my tears with my student loan bills.

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2 thoughts on “A Day in the Life

  1. Life gets better, dear..You could move into a broken down house and have frozen pipes, no washer & dryer, 27 degrees in your kitchen. But I love every day of this life . I laughed to tears over the Lohan letter. The tip off for me was the Union Leader. What do you know, I GOT that one…..

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