Dear Child Protective Services….

I’m thinking about drafting a letter to child protective services on behalf of Jaden and Willow Smith. I realize that the state doesn’t like to take children away from their parents unless the kid’s been beaten or left alone, making dinners of dry cat food and ketchup for themselves, but they could look into it. If they don’t want to take Jaden and Willow, maybe they could just drop off some literature on successful parenting strategies.

Something is fishy in the Smith/Pinkett-Smith residence. For an already famous person and a very recognizable actress (?) married to a famous person, they certainly are eager to have more famous people in their family. I mean, they’re not the Lohans– their dreams and mortgage payments don’t live and die with a destructive little freckle face. I watch Nick-at-Night, and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air reruns alone must pay to ensure that every little weirdo at Will’s scientology school have all the snack-time Kool-Aid they want. They don’t need their kids to be famous.

I understand that these kids see that their parents are performers and are interested in it themselves, but wouldn’t acting camp be enough for now? Acting camp is so fun. Are they trying to make these two kids unable to relate to any human other than Suri Cruise and John Travolta’s children? With famous parents, I imagine it would have been hard enough to grow to be a functioning member of society (what have you done for anyone lately, Rumer Willis?), but now add on their own personal fame at like, 9 years old? I’m scared for them.

I feel like no one is telling these kids no. Here’s what they let their 11 year old do to herself:

(I’m mostly focused on the hair, but the white high waisted shorts… come on! You are not raising an American Apparel model!)

I think kids should be allowed to express themselves, and I don’t think someone dying their hair green makes them a different/good/bad person, but I don’t have a great feeling about this. For one, who does this girl think she is? There is too much mature attitude that came with the new hair. Like she’s fully aware that she’s the only 11 year old allowed to dye her hair green (and you KNOW her older cousin didn’t help her Manic Panic that in her bathroom one afternoon. It probably cost her a chunk of those Whip My Hair royalties).

Green hair doesn’t changed who she is, but she’s 11 and at that age, I feel like you don’t need to be teaching your kids they need to start changing how they look. There are so many eyebrow hairs in her future that will need to be plucked. Just let her enjoy a hairy, natural childhood for a little while longer!

Also, remind me to ask Child Protective Services about that other Smith kid. He’s older than Jaden, with a different mom. What’s the status on that one? Do we know if he’s alive? Doesn’t he want a movie or a single, too? Is he being fed something other than cat food? I’m worried.


2 thoughts on “Dear Child Protective Services….

  1. I totally agree. Also, she tweeted about life being super hard and stuff. If it’s hard for someone with loads of money, something fishy has to be going down in that household. I’m blaming Jada.

  2. I really enjoy how rich people (and/or famous people) complain how hard it is to raise children. So they allow a little self expression. In this case, the green hair is really a result of their nanny falling asleep on the job. The nannies are the ones that are raising their kids. No rich person has to drive them around to various activities….oh please. You know they have three or four nannies or assistants that do all that “running around” and pretending to care.

    Thanks for your great blog!

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