Assets By Sara Blakely

Ladies! Where my ladies at? Don’t you love a nice pair of Spanx?! Amiright or amiright? (I’m working on my 1980’s lady-stand up. How’m I doing? I think this would work a lot better if you could see how big my shoulder pads are right now).

There’s one lady I know who loves a little Spanx- Academy Award winner Octavia Spencer.

If you noticed when she won her Oscar, the two men on either side of her just kind of hoisted her up while she remained light-as-a-feather-stiff-as-a-board, refusing to bend any joints as she made her ascent to a standing position. Maybe she was injured, but more likely she was Spanxed up to her chin and couldn’t move. God bless her, and God bless tight, non-breathable lycra.

You can get these ankle length or full length.

Spanx came out with some really resilient panty hose, (sold for about $17 at Target) and I don’t know about you, but I love a hearty nylon. Too often I buy a pair of panty hose and they barely last me through a night. These are the first pair that have the stability of a legging, and the sheerness of a panty hose. They haven’t run on me yet.

Another big plus is they are so tight that it becomes nearly impossible to finish a meal. When wearing these, you will feel full in half the time you would if you were wearing normal hose that didn’t push all of your vital organs through your stomach and against your spine.

If you’re looking to combine your illegal black market appetite suppressant expenses with what you pay in control top panty hose, then Assets by Sara Blakely (Spanx inventor, FYI) is the deal for you.

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