I’d like to introduce you to a new segment where I talk you through a day in my life from the previous week.
Date: 2.26.12 (a Sunday)
Morning: Without getting too into detail, I woke up to what I can only imagine was mild food poisoning from the Indian food I had the night before.
Afternoon: Worse still, my self indulgent choice of substituting plain naan for garlic naan on my combo meal has resulted in a kind of Peppy La Pue sort of stink where you can actually see the smell wafting from my body. I have to work at a restaurant later, and I fear that nauseating body odor may impact my tip earning potential.
I frantically search online for garlic odor neutralizers, and it would appear that my only options are to sweat out the garlic or eat the contents of a black tea bag. My mom won’t let me eat a tea bag.
That would be me in snow pants, several layers, and hot tea in my car with heat on full blast trying to make my Corolla my own private YMCA sauna (without the gay sexual encounters).
45 Minutes Later: According to my brother (whom-mmmmm I work with) we apparently don’t have to work, so my dad comes outside to get me (takes pictures first).
Night: I stink alone in peace.
Later that Night: I stink with Billy Crystal (Ya get it? He stunk! Hu-gos? He goes! ‘Cuz he’ll never work in this town again! Rotten potatoes, I tell ya!)
This has been a Day in the Life.