Sally Hansen’s Gem Crush

It is so easy to lose me. In a literal sense, like you might very well misplace me because I’m so small and cannot be found in crowds. Since we live in a world of survival of the fittest (you guys know I write to you from 1940’s Germany, right?) so I’ve had to adapt so I don’t get lost at Third Eye Blind concerts, never to be heard from again. The first step was to dye my hair red- it’s easier to spot because it’s brighter and stands out in a sea of mostly brunettes and blondes (so it was also for narcissistic, center-of-attention purposes), and tonight the second step–to find a nail polish with the highest amount of glitter density– was completed tonight, thanks to Sally Hansen’s Gem Crush nail polish line.

Now when I’m lost, all I have to do is wave my infant hands around until someone sees the emergency flare and comes to find me. Extremely effective.

And it comes in all sorts of fun colors!

This was Razzle Dazzler, $7 at any drug store.

But can you put a price on safety?

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3 thoughts on “Sally Hansen’s Gem Crush

  1. WE NEED A GUY VERSION OF THIS! Because I too am very losable and it’s not in my fashion skill set to wear finger nail polish or dye my hair red.

  2. I’m rockin’ the 80’s construction crew vest RIGHT NOW and it’s like wearing Axe body spray.

    PS: thanks! Yours is pretty awesome too: “If I mention something about getting surgery & u ask ‘on what?’ I’ll say I was getting a nosy asshole removed & then never speak to u again.” LOVE!

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