The More You Know: Men in Sweatpants

It’s time for some more unsolicited advice from a young woman with no qualifications:

Men and boys: Do not wear sweatpants. They are offensive to women, all women, I promise you. 

Some guys reading this might think “Dara, I KNOW this! I learned this along with the importance of deodorant application!” and to you, sir, let me direct you to the contact information tab at the top of this screen. You obviously have your life together, and I would love to hear from you. Your knowledge of appropriate apparel choices, in addition to your appreciation of basic hygiene, is an intoxicating combination.

So, I tweeted this little tidbit of info, and some kid tweeted me in reply and didn’t know what I meant (he understood the Ashton Kutcher part, though. I think we’re all in agreement with that). I was kind of shocked that this kid had no idea. I thought guys who wear sweatpants in public knew exactly what they were doing, but I think some of them actually don’t get what’s going on here. So here it is if you’re unsure:

WE CAN SEE EVERYTHING AND IT IS DISGUSTING!

I know that some guys are aware of this and wear sweatpants for just that reason above, and that means you are a PREDATOR. I think it’s so unfair that drunk college kids can get labeled a sex offender for the rest of their life for peeing in public, but a man knowingly wearing sweatpants in front of women and children get to live their life freely.

To the clueless guys: I think what the problem might be is that you see women in sweatpants, so you think it’s okay for you, too. I’m all for equality, but I’m going to have to draw the line here. This is what a woman looks like in sweat pants:

So cute yet airport casual with her little hat and little hip bone, right?

Guess what? That’s not what you look like! I was going to post a picture of what guys look like in sweatpants, but my mother reads this blog and all the pictures I found were inappropriate.

Ladies don’t want to see that. I don’t care what you’ve got going on under your CostCo sweatpants, but I can promise you that real pants that fit properly will impress a woman more than totally unsupportive gym clothes… Which is how you should think of pants. Women have to wear bras for support, so you need to do the same with pants.

You might say there’s a flaw in that argument– that guys like it when hot women don’t wear bras, so why wouldn’t ladies like it if a hot guy wore sweatpants? Well, the only explanation is that girls are pretty, so of course you like them bra-less; however, to women, any guy in sweatpants is equal to your 60 year-old, free-spirited aunt in her strapless dress going bra-less. OFFENSIVE!

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30 thoughts on “The More You Know: Men in Sweatpants

  1. I actually don’t mind a dude in sweatpants. Majority of my guy friends wear sweatpants when we’re hanging out and I don’t see anything lol (not that I am looking lol). Most wear boxers and basketball shorts under their sweatpants to avoid the peek-a-boo mishap. If men shouldn’t be wearing sweatpants then women shouldn’t be wearing leggings, it’s borderline the same shit.

    • I believe what she meant is that no man should free ball in sweatpants. Or basketball shorts. Wearing boxers under basketball shorts or sweatpants is okay.

      This kid in my high school gym class always went commando under his basketball shorts. I think he was trying to show off. It worked… until I realized he smelled bad.

  2. In high school a friend of mine did “Free Ballin Friday” (he really called it that) in sweatpants and it creeped me out to no end. In fact, it still does.

  3. I would never wear sweatpants in public so I’m a firm believe that guys shouldn’t either.

    I remember liking guys in college but when we noticed they wore sweatpants it was almost as if they grew two heads. Saw one in the gym the other day and I could see the whole package, flopping. Not attractive.

  4. Are you offended because you may see our body shape? Woman wear clothes all the time that contour to their bodies, should I be offended? Should I call them predators? Come on .if your not wearing underwear than I would agree. I wear sports clothing a lot, and find it kinda sexy when a lady wears sports clothes, because I believe that their athletic, and care about their bodies.now someone weighing 400 lbs wearing Spandex, is wrong…

    • Here’s the difference: you’re talking about seeing a girl in yoga pants or a low cut top. Do you love a camel toe on a lady in those yoga pants? Probably not. And even if you did, women aren’t visual creatures in the same way men are, so it’s not an equal argument. (Most) Women don’t want to see the outline of some stranger’s dick. We like a fit man in a tight t-shirt, sure, but (most) women aren’t interested in watching your junk flop around. It’s the same reason why at male strip clubs they usually don’t take off their underwear and in female strip clubs the girls get totally naked. Women aren’t turned on by that. And, you can’t compare women to men because of COURSE you don’t think women in body baring clothes are predators (which by the way was a term loosely used for comedic effect) because you are a guy, and no girl is going to assault you in her lululemons.

      • No I would not want to see a girls Camel toe, but with the proper underwear and loose pants I do kinda find it sexy. Men are too the prey for some women, just that those who had that issue won’t speak up about it because it would threaten there man hood. And no matter how you want to argue it, it is still a double standard, and to be truly equal then the rules should be standardized. A girl with a little weight should dress accordingly, to her body, just as anyone else.

      • Yes, poor men and the double standard of sweatpants that I, a prestigious blogger with tens of readers, have thrust upon them. Maybe if women were ever subjected to any unfair double standards I would be a little more understanding, but I, as a woman, have no idea what a double standard feels like. I feel for your gender, I really do.

  5. You are blissfully wrong. Sorry. I think men in sweat pants is just about one of the sexiest things. I also enjoy seeing their junk in them. I am a 27 year old female. Now I would agree there is a time and a place, but going to the grocery store and seeing a hot guy in them is just about the perk of my trip!

    • Well, I don’t think I’m wrong. And I don’t think you’re wrong. If you like seeing a guy’s dick in his sweatpants then that’s what you like. I think you are part of a very small minority, but I can’t tell you you don’t find it sexy, if you in fact, do.

  6. Oh god not the outline of a dick in a guy’s shorts! Penises are totally unnatural and scary!

    This is what you sound like. Shut up.

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  8. I’m super late but no. Sweatpants are comfy and I don’t care what any one says or thinks. I’m gonna wear them. That being said, I do wear the proper undergarments to be less obvious and polite. I wear what I want to be comfy, girls can do the same.

  9. I wear sweats for parkour. I wear tight-ish underwear so nothings terribly obvious. I agree that things flopping around are gross but if I’m wearing underwear and you’re not staring at it then i think i deserve that freedom of movement. Sorry if my comfort offends you but given that I’m not looking to date atm I think I’m good, thanks.

  10. A guy could wear compression shorts & that’s just as much support as a bra. There’s nothing rude or inconsiderate about men wearing sweatpants, you’re just mad bc we rock them better than you. Sorrynotsorry. :*

  11. Cmon. I see women running all over town in what I call “eventually work out” gear, you know they haven’t or will not work out because their all glammed up. But they go around pulling camel toes, running hi-beams, and some even to thin leggings flash more than any guy wants to see on fatties. I believe it’s the same thing. I see pervs in both men and women and that group likes to day dream about all this. So get over it and don’t look there.

  12. What I don’t like: Women that complain in this fashion then diddle themselves in private with some obscene fantasy thinking about the shape of some guys junk. Or do you just imagine them in slacks with no bulge? Yeah right. But your biggest fantasy? Thinking this made up you is a real person. That goes for you other girls that agree with this “View”.

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