Every year at Thanksgiving someone tries to get everyone at our table to say what they’re thankful for. Either my mother tries to initiate this in earnest or my brother does it to probably annoy me when my mom forgets. Regardless, I think this is a vile tradition. I just want to eat and be left alone with my feelings.
However there are some non-sentimental things I’m thankful for in regards to the holiday. Thanksgiving is actually probably one of my least favorite holidays… I don’t know, all you do is eat. That’s the whole premise of the day. Something about that seems very typically American. But, it’s still a holiday which gets me days off and something to break up the monotony of getting up every morning, going to work, sleeping, then doing it all over again and again until your inevitable death. Happy Thanksgiving!
10 Thankgiving-y Things I’m Thankful For
1. That I saw someone with a “thankful for” blog post, which supplied me with an idea for a blog post today. Mostly, I just stole this idea. In general, I’m not a thief (except for this one time I stole my Diet Coke and plastic cup from UNOS because we told them we were in a hurry and they were very slow so we had to take all of our food to go… So I took my drink to go, too. I paid for the Diet Coke, so really I just stole the cup. They can get a new one for a dollar at Christmas Tree Shop. I’m not worried about it).
2. Having Thanksgiving with only my immediate family. I think my mom wishes our Thanksgiving was bigger than just the four of us, but I love it. Not just because I’m antisocial, but because there is no blessing bigger than being able to wear my pajama pants to the dining room table and not having to pretend like I’m not sloppy drunk.
3. Thanksgiving Booze. Since I’ve gotten a little older my family has started a kind of unspoken tradition revolving around the Thanksgiving booze. Basically, my dad just buys me whatever I need to make my cocktail of choice for the meal. These are what memories are made of.
4. An accepted day of binge eating.
5. Stuffing. I hated stuffing up until a couple years ago, and now it’s one of my favorite Thanksgiving foods. A little bittersweet, though… like, we’ve lost so much time together, ya know?
6. My gym being open on Thanksgiving. If I work off 200 calories then that means I have 2,000 free calories to spend on the meal. That’s how math and nutrition works, right?
7. My two dogs. Again, this is not a sentimental list, I’m just happy that if I drop any sweet potato and marshmallows on the floor they’ll eat it before I’d have to bend over and pick it up. So, I’m thankful for two living vacuum cleaners. It’s loads more efficient than a Roomba.
8. Cooking with wine. This isn’t too Thanksgiving specific because you can cook and drink wine any time, but there’s just something so festive about it that I’m thankful for it when ever it comes up.
9. Movie theaters are open. On Thanksgiving I love to take in a picure, see? (to be said in an old timey voice. I wish I could record little bits of this blog and you could click on sentences to hear what the intended inflection or accent or sarcasm was supposed to be. Sorry, you don’t need to know what my frivilous hopes and dreams are.)
10. So this is actually just going to be 9 things because I can’t think of a 10th.