Clothes I Look Stupid In

What I think a lot of fashion forward ladies don’t realize is that there are a lot of clothes that are attractive to other females, but not to men. Like, God bless Rachel Zoe and her husband Roger because she certainly doesn’t dress for him, so they must be trying to keep their marriage fresh in other ways.

I don’t really care too much about guys liking the clothes I wear, however sometimes the reason why guys don’t like certain lady clothes that we like is because they have a valid point. Like, they look totally silly or unflattering. Examples of these kinds of items would be: boyfriend jeans, headbands you wear on your fourhead like an Olsen twin, and big fur vests. Truly, I don’t care if guys think I look dumb in these things, I just can’t get over that I know I look dumb. But I really, really want to wear them anyways!

1. Boyfriend Jeans

They should rename these “you better already have a boyfriend jeans” because you won’t be attracting any new ones while wearing them. They’re essentially just baggy pants cuffed at the bottom. You either have to be completely shapeless and tall with some thin and brittle Pretty Little Liars ankles and thighs with the circumference of a baseball bat or… Jennifer Aniston. I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit me (short legs and an unusually low butt. I’m not imagining this) without having to find baggy jeans that look presentable.

2. Headbands worn around your forehead.

You couldn’t possibly understand how much I want this to work out for me, but there are two problems: 1. I have an enormous head. This has been proven by a certain community theatre costume designer who pointed out to me in high school that my head measurement was bigger than all of the girls and most of the guys in our cast. This trend tends to look better on people with normal sized skulls. 2. Fashion-y fourheadbands don’t seem to go with Old Navy compression pants, so I’m not sure I have anything to pair them with in my wardrobe.

3. Fur Vests

This is another trend that only looks good on tall people. After all the fur vests I have tried on I have never not looked like a hybernating cub who has put on a lot of winter weight in their torso. I guess if you think about it, adding an inch of girth to your mid-section by way of fur can’t be too attractive if you’re short because you just end up looking shorter. It’s a hard notion to accept, but I really don’t think I’ll be growing 5 more inches so my modeling career and fur vest wearing days were over before they even began.


7 thoughts on “Clothes I Look Stupid In

  1. What about the jumpsuit? I’ve always wanted to wear a full-on Tyra style jumpsuit for some insane reason. The fashion just appeals to me – but I’m 5″2 and therefore would look completely stupid.

    • omg i actually have a jumpsuit, I wore it once, felt like an idiot, but I still love it and refuse to throw it out. It was so long (im 5’3) so I had to wear huge platforms underneath that you couldn’t even see. but it was like $12.99 at forever 21 so it can sit in my closet, no harm no foul.

      thanks for commenting!

  2. Pingback: Clothes I Look Stupid In:* Part 2 | brunch for every meal

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