I Want to Save the Reality Stars

Some people want to save the whales, but if I’m going to put my energy and efforts into a cause, I’d like for it to hit a little closer to home. Something I can really get invested in…. like reality show stars!

As much as I love watching my reality stars on TV, I still hope that one day they’ll gain all the self-respect they need to get a real job and stop doing reality shows. This is why Dina Manzo is my favorite reality show star, because she could do what most could not: voluntarily walk away from a huge show like The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Sure, she has a design show on HGTV, but that’s totally different. One displays her talent for perpetuating negative female stereotypes and the other displays her talent for turning a simple home into an italian rodeo party (which is amazing because I was under the absolutely correct impression that the italian wild west didn’t exist).

I just feel like if anyone gave me 5 minutes with any reality star I could save them. I could help them understand that they haven’t been acting like real humans. Like, someone needs to help me schedule a sit down with Courtney Stodden.

I know she’s not a reality star, but I’m pretty sure she thinks she is and that’s enough for me. Girl is 17 and married to a 51 year old!!! I just need to know why no one has kidnapped her in the middle of the night to rescue her like she’s some 14 year old polygamist wife on a compound! I think we owe this to her! I feel like I just need to have a serious talk with her… like me and then if Whoopi Goldberg is free, I’d love her help. Together, we could really get through to her.

Obviously, no one has ever told her that you can get self-esteem from something other than male approval. And that it might be a good idea to finish high school. And that she looks like a porn star. I can tell her these things. Not in an accusatory way, just a real-talk, let’s-work-together-to-fix-this, way. Maybe Whoopi can mentor her. I think she needs a strong, no non-sense African-American female role model. This relationship would also make for a great movie. Courtney can write/direct it when she’s the 35 year-old empowered woman I know she can be. She can even make a cameo playing her evil, drug addled or abusive or profoundly mentally disturbed mother (I’m not sure which her mom is, but she’s suffering from whatever makes it okay in your brain to sign off on your 16 year-old daughter marrying a 51 year-old).

So, all I’m going to need is Courtney and Whoopi’s numbers and then we can get this intervention rolling. Then after that, I need to have a long talk with Lindsay Lohan.

6 thoughts on “I Want to Save the Reality Stars

    • Lol, so true- I think I need to have a convo with her mother about Kendall and Kylie, though. I feel like it might be detrimental to their development that she treats them like 20 year-old twins.

      thanks for stopping by and commenting!

  1. Pingback: An Open Letter to Lindsay Lohan | brunch for every meal

  2. Pingback: The 12 Days of Courtney Stodden | brunch for every meal

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