Skinnygirl Daily Cleanse vs. Ghettogirl Cleanse

You know I love me some Bethenny Frankel, and I will pretty much go for anything she’s pushing no questions asked, so I was pumped when she came out with a daily cleanse (ya, know, like for your liver and bowels to clean out all the Skinnygirl margaritas). Except a 30 day supply of her cleanse is $59.99!!! What?! Bethenny! Don’t you remember the days when you were on Real Housewives of NY season 1 when you couldn’t pay your rent? Poor girls want clean intestines, too!

So, I’ve developed a little cleanse of my own I’d like to call the Ghettogirl cleanse using the ingredients from Bethenny’s Daily Cleanse and my own knowledge from obsessively looking up different cleanses I can do after I’ve gone on a weekend long food bender. (This will run you under $20).

  1. Hot Lemon Water In the Morning This helps clean out the bile in your liver, so have a cup of this like a half hour before you eat breakfast. I know this trick from the The Eat-Clean Diet book by Tosca Rena and because Martha Stewart does it. Martha doesn’t exactly have the body I aspire to, but she’s filthy rich so I trust her on this one.
  2. Dandelion Tea 3x a Day Dandelion tea detoxes your body, is a natural diuretic, and aids digestion. Dandelion is also an ingredient in the Skinnygirl cleanse. Um, this tea is not delicious, but get over it, I thought you wanted to be skinny. Maybe steep it with a bag of green tea– double weight loss and cleansing! 
  3. Fiber Choice Supplements 1-3 Daily Ewwww, bathroom talk! Sorry, you need fiber to keep everything chugging. Enjoy this, you’re about to be gassy. 
  4. Diet You can’t do all this cleansing and then eat burgers on top of it, dummy. You should be eating pretty bland foods, and limit meat as much as possible because digesting animal carcass isn’t easy. So, steel cut oats, greek yogurt, raw or steamed veggies, fruit, brown rice, fish, and lots of greens.
  5. Sweat Sweat from exercise first and foremost, but you might consider hot yoga or chilling out in a sauna so you can sweat out some toxins. It seems pretty obvious. And Suzanne Somers says to do it.
I do this for how ever long it takes until I don’t feel disgusting anymore/until I can’t do it anymore which is between 12 hours and 12 days. I don’t know, consult a doctor or something before you do this (don’t people say this so they don’t get sued when they talk about diets)? 

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