Splits Karma

 So, I was recently cast as an understudy in a show in Boston, and in said show I have to do a front split. I’m more or less a ball of anxiety because I can’t do a split (I’m working on it), and I found out I will be going on in about 3 weeks. I know this is all happening to me because of split karma.

When I was in the 6th grade I was preparing to try out for the cheerleading squad (I never ended up actually trying out because I had no business doing so. To this day I can’t do a cart wheel. Or a somersault). One of the requirements to get on the team was to do a split, and I remember this girl who was also trying out asked me if I could do a split and I said yes… This wouldn’t be so bad if I didn’t give her some really unfounded advice on how to get into a split, which was to “just get as far down as you can and then have someone push you down the rest of the way.” I don’t think you can get into a split doing that, but I think it might be a great way to tear something.

Hence why the universe is punishing me.

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