I wouldn’t be so afraid to have children some day if I was guaranteed to give birth to this girl. Mostly because I’d be giving birth to myself, and I know exactly how I would raise me.
I just want to have a play date with this girl. We’d drink Sauvignon Blanc (I’m pretty sure the drinking age doesn’t apply to 5 year-olds who want to be comedy writers and know who Jerry Seinfeld is), and discuss comedy and modern feminism. I’d say I want to be her baby sitter, but I feel like she takes a cab home from preschool, prepares herself a vegan/gluten free snack, and after her afternoon nappy she works on her screenplay while she waits for her hip, single mom to come home from her high power corporate job. She definitely doesn’t need me to babysit.